Friday Letters

I don't think I look like this when I sleep. She must be tired.

Dear Husband, you came back to Az this week and I haven't really seen you since. Dear Boxes, I look at you in the garage and want to run away, but not to Reno. Dear Hailey, you have been feeling so sick all week and still you have participated in way too many activities. Making a stop by the Urgent care at 11:00pm. It makes me sad but I'm glad you have had fun. Dear Kaden, last minute dentist appointments are never very fun. Here's to Dental Insurance! Dear Avary, I loved your dance recital so much, it makes my heart happy to see you do something you love. And you are good at it too. Dear Christmas Shopping, you are not very fun with such a small budget. Luckily there are Gma's and Gpa's. Dear Ladies, I love it that I can call you last minute and you will all go out to eat or walk around a store with me. LOVE YOU! Dear Briana, you are so loved and one of the brightest spirits I have known. You are in all of my prayers. Dear Denial, we have been good friends the last month or so and are still going strong. I have a feeling we will be arm in arm until lets say...around the 1st. If it's too much to bear to part it might be longer. Dear Christmas Eve, I love spending you with my family. I love that my kids know the real meaning and I hope they carry it in their hearts. Dear Ric, I hope you have fun while you are here.

Merry Christmas

I can't do Christmas cards this year. I am sure you can understand and you will forgive me. It's been a rough year.

Our Family 2010



Yes, Hazel's head is still attached.


Look at how beautiful my babies are!


Hailey - 10


Kaden - 7


Avary - 5


Hazel - 3

Dancing Angel Avary

Avary's Dance Recital was so cute. I loved the costumes and her cute little face.

It was her first semester dancing and she absolutely loves it.

I am so sad we have to move because I found a Dance Teacher that we love and can afford too.

They made all of the costumes and even put glitter in her hair.

I LOVE IT.

She made sure that all of the girls had their picture taken and gave them all a glass angel.

Delivery

Guess what was delivered this morning?



Only 9 days before they are coming to load the truck.
But no pressure right.

I am going to miss...

I am going to really miss going to Barro's for lunch with my best friends.
They have a toy room with a TV playing cartoons so you actually get to sit and eat your food. And somehow the kids actually eat theirs.
The girl at the counter knows us because it has been our hangout for so long and she gives us a discount.
The air "freshener" in the bathroom makes me want to vomit.
It is my favorite pizza. The crust is heavenly.
How am I going to live without Barro's?

A Bend In The Road

When we feel we have nothing left to give
And we are sure that the song has ended,
When our day seems over and the shadows fall
And the darkness of night has descended,

Where can we go to find the strength
To valiantly keep on trying?
Where can we find the hand that will dry
The tears that the heart is crying?

There's but one place to go and that is to God,
And dropping all pretense and pride,
We can pour out our problems without restraint
And gain strength with Him at our side.

And together we stand at life's cross roads
And view what we think is the end,
But God has a much bigger vision,
And He tells us it's only a bend.

For the road goes on and is smoother,
And the pause in the song is a rest,
And the part that's unsung and unfinished
Is the sweetest and richest and best.

So rest and relax and grow stronger.
Let go and let God share your load.
Your work is not finished or ended,
You've just come to a bend in the road.
Helen Steiner Rice

This poem hit home for me. I don't want to go around the bend. It is taking an awful lot of blind faith for me. I have to find ways to remind myself nearly every day.

Sugar

We made our gingerbread village tonight.
Which means whatever clothes the kids were wearing are pretty much ruined.
And their faces are stained from the frosting.
And my table is really sticky.

Can you tell Hailey has been eating sugar at her toy shop? No?.....Hmmmm


What about Kade? Any sugar at Santa's house?


Hazel was one big sticky mess. I hope her roof holds up with everything she piled on top of the bakery.


Avary was very patient for her turn to eat the frosting. And she did a good job on her candy shop too.


The kids (kaden) stole all of my candy decorations for his house and all I was left with was this very sparse chalet. Snowed in.


We had hot chocolate with gingerbread marshmallows mixed in. Kaden, again, was stealing any he could get his hands on.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, this week you found a place for us to live, in the right school district with stairs! I am so proud of you (for real I am) and the kids are happy about the stairs so we didn't break our promise. Pray it goes through. I am. Dear Em, I enjoyed babysitting you and loved it when you snuggled on my lap and let me hug you. Dear Movers, I was so excited when you told me you load and unload all of our stuff. Huge sigh right now, my back can only take so much. Dear Hailey, you did so awesome in your orchestra concert. You must have talent because I have never heard you practice, yet you could play all of the songs. Who knew. Dear Miss Jenny, you have been 3 out 4 of my kids preschool teacher and you are the best. We will all miss your sweetness. Especially when I have to become the preschool teacher. Dear Marilyn, I love you. I will forever be grateful for you and how much you have helped me. Tearing up now. Dear Lady A, I enjoyed our dinner together and really appreciate what you had to say, thank you. Dear Jo, I had fun going to your work Christmas party with you, I laughed so much and had fun. And I am still dreaming about that steak, I think it was the best steak I have ever had. Drooling. Dear Garage Sale, you were a success! I wanted to collapse with exhaustion, wait I think I did, but I am glad it was worth it. Dear helpers, thank you for all you did to help me. It's a sad day when my mother who is in her 60's held up better than me. Dear Week, you kicked my fanny. I can't wait until life slows down. Dear Rico, we are all excited to see you next week.

O.K. or Not O.K.

I have been having such a hard time lately. If you've been around me it's no secret.
I will be doing ok feeling like I can do this and then something so small, but big in other ways, will have me drowning in fear. Feeling so overwhelmed and so incapable. And so TIRED! There are certain aspects of this whole moving situation that are so scary to me. I am walking off the edge of a cliff in the dark. But the only one I can trust is the Lord and I know he will catch me. But sometimes it's hard when I wish I could look to my parter and not feel so alone in it all, but we are not there yet. This is a long road and I don't know where it leads.

I am so grateful for priesthood blessings, they have brought me so much comfort and in moments of feeling defeated I have been given strength far beyond my own. Because at this point it is not my own strength, that I am sure of.
I heard these words in a song the other day and they touched my heart. Reminding me that His light can penetrate to the very depths of the sea, to where ever you are.

There's a joy inside I can't contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it's pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

Breaking through the dark
Suddenly your grace
Mercy reaching to save me

Making my life something so beautiful

The Great White.

I feel like it has been forever since we've gotten a paycheck. Maybe cause it has been pretty dang long.

I had big plans of sitting down at the computer and taking a lovely stroll clicking through my online bill pay.

I was looking forward to it.

Maybe taking a trip to the store, piling my kids in the cart and burying them in things like...shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper, toothpaste. Oh and the beloved paper towel. Maybe a couple of long sleeve shirts for my cold featherless baby chicks and some socks for their little toes. I would covet all the to die for cuteness in the little girls section and aaaww over the little baby clothes as I passed by.

But it wasn't meant to be...no no it wasn't meant to be.

Instead it will go to the big white wale in the driveway.

Now now, I am so happy and blessed that we are able to fix my lovely van. It carries all those cute little bodies around every where we need to go as it guzzles up all of our money.

It has actually been the best vehicle and really dependable. We haven't really had any major problems with it. Knock on wood.

But I think where we are headed we are going to need a heater and some breaks and to not leave a trail of leaking oil all the way there.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, this week you got to do some cool training in the Temple. I am glad that you love it so much that you are excited to call and tell me about it. Dear Van, you are still eating my money and now you are mysteriously developing a transmission problem after visiting the shop when that part of you worked fine before you went in. Hmmmm. Dear Winter Sing, I don't usually look forward to you, but it was kind of funny to watch Kaden look disgusted with the performance until he held his belly and sang HO hO ho. And the kids behind me were so awful they made mine look very well behaved. Dear Dance Class, I am so sorry I forgot to bring Avary. I had it written down and everything, but I kept forgetting what day it was about ten times throughout the day. I feel sad about it. Dear Ladies, who know their garage sale etiquette, thanks for helping me. Who knew it was so complicated. Dear Garage Sale, I am dreading you. I am regretting you and I wish I could back out, but I already told everyone and got everything ready. I hope I make enough money to make it worth my time. Dear Never Ending To Do List, when I look at you I want to cry and go lay in my bed with my warm heating blanket set on 7 and sleep all day. Enough said. Dear Ricardo, I love to see you growing spiritually and I hope you find a place for us to live.

7 stockings?

I came into the room to find this.



NO - there is no baby on the way!


Avary tells me, yes, there is as soon as my tummy gets big. I tell her NO. And then I pause...and ask if she thinks my tummy already looks big. She said no. Wheew!

I don't know why Hazel kept putting this up there. I didn't ask. I just thought it was cute.

I have to wash this tutu almost daily, as you can tell. She insists on wearing it to bed half the time.



She is so cute!

A story for you.

I don't know what this picture has to do with anything, I just thought it was funny Kade made his pizza into a snowman.

I was just finishing up the dishes, the kids were playing on the computer and watching T.V. waiting for bed time when the power went out. All at once they are screaming and crying while I am fumbling in the dark trying to find the flashlights. Hazel is hysterical because she tried to run and crashed into to something. You would think they had never been in the dark before. sheesh.

I went outside to see what was going on only to be blinded by the neighbors Christmas lights. So, it was just us in the dark. I tried and tried to reset the main breaker, with no luck. So I had to go ask my neighbors if they would help me. He tried too with no luck and told me to call a friend in the ward who is an electrition. It was late and I didn't want to but I knew there would be no rest for me otherwise, see above reaction.

My lovely neighbors insisted on taking the children to their house until we figured out what was wrong.

And I let them.

Yes, I know you are shocked. I was proud of myself for accepting their service. I was already having to call someone in the ward at night and pull him away from his family because why? I can't flip my breaker? Why not let the neighbors watch the kids?

He came and was able to reset it and noticed the breaker to the water heater had blow, so he reset it and it blew the main breaker again. So I went to open the garage so he could look at the water heater and was met with a very unpleasant smell of burning plastic.

The wiring on the timer to the water heater had caught fire.(we have never used it)
As soon as I saw it I said "hmm two nights ago I had a dream there was a fire by the little girls room and was awake for a good hour wondering what I would do if that happened, we don't even have a fire extinguisher." Bad I know. The little girls room is just on the other side of this wall. Chills.

So I am super grateful that my breakers worked properly and shut off all the power. I am super grateful that I swallowed my pride and asked for help, always a hard thing for me. Plus I am grateful I was even home. I had a meeting I was supposed to go to and had called and cancelled.

So, $8.00 and an hour or two later he removed it all and repaired it for me. We had to go to Home Depot and my gas light was on, I was praying I wouldn't run out of gas. I was waiting until payday. That would have been embarrassing. How helpless can one gal look in one day?

When I went to get the kids they said they didn't know if they wanted to send them back. I said I might just think about that.
They watched a movie and ate popcorn and candy and played with their chihuahua Bambi. I had to shine the flash light at their face and demand that it was time to go just to get their attention.

All in all it was an eventful night.
Now I know we need
-flashlights handy
-a fire extinguisher
-to always be friends with an electrition
-10 gage wire on hand
-smoke detector in the garage
-to air out the garage before we let the Realtor come over
-nice grandparently neighbors who are in your ward
-to teach my kids not to run or panic in the dark
-to swallow my pride and accept service

It was also nice to know that My Father in Heaven is watching over my family and taking care of us. I said a nice long prayer and I didn't really get any sleep that night. Lets hope tomorow is a little more boring.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, this week you have sent me multiple texts trying to brag that you are at Lake Tahoe and pictures of the snow and deer. I'm glad you are having fun, but it's not working. I am enjoying 72* and the sun on my face. Dear J & S, it's been far too long. Congratulations on your SIXTH bundle of heaven. I love you guys. Dear Road blocks, you know, I have absolutely NO desire to move. But I will go where the Lord wants me to go, so you might as well get out of my way. Dear Mom, it was nice when you showed up at my door with lunch, love you. Dear Neighbors, thank you for watching my kids so they wouldn't have to sit alone in the dark. They didn't want to come home after the movie, popcorn, candy and Bambi the chihuahua. Dear J & R Koch, aka fellow ward electrition, (why is electrition not in spell check) Thank You so much for coming to our rescue so our house didn't burn down. Even when it cut into the little precious time you have to be with your family. Dear Van, aka The White Wale, you are eating money faster than we can make it. Cut it out. Dear Mr. Nikki, thank you for putting up with the Mr. I hope he's not leaving a big mess all over your house. Ours has been surprisingly clean. Smile. You are helping him be a better man. Can't wait to meet you. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you, thank you, for protecting and taking care of us I will talk with You more on that later. Dear Ricky, what a blessing it is that you have such a wonderful opportunity to work in the same place you worship.

Funny-ness

BEFORE = eewwww


AFTER = cute

Kade has been so funny lately. He said there is this huge older kid at school that scares him and he chases him. I asked him "why is this boy chasing you and how are you handling it"? He says "well, I call him SMALL FRY and then I run and if he gets too close then I jump on his back". HaHa. What the?

The next day at bed time he says " I had a rough day today" I ask why "I had to do so much running at school today cause the girls keep chasing me, it makes me thirsty, cause it makes me sweat and drains all the water out of my body, my body needs water it's going to dry up, maybe I can trick them somehow, man girls make me tired, they make me use all my energy, good thing I am a strong man". "mom...can I have a drink of water"?

The day after "if a robber broke in I think I would trick him and capture him and he would say, this kid may have a small head but he has great ideas and a smart brain"

Friday Letters

Thanksgiving 2010

Dear Husband, you made it just in time for the wonderful Arizona weather on Thanksgiving day. Dear Thanksgiving Feast, you were so yummy, heavenly even. I wish I could have eaten more and I wish you came around more often.mmmmmm. Dear Weather, you are quite chilly in the mornings to my Arizona blood. I think I will freeze when I have to leave you. Dear Children, I'm sorry I forgot to feed you dinner on Thursday. We ate so much for lunch and you were having so much fun, pie counts right. Dear Family, I LOVE YOU. You are my best friends and the cousins are my kids best friends. How can I leave you? Dear Friday, one fun day wasn't enough so we skipped our TO DO list and went back for more and spent most of the day with family again. Yummy hamburgers and more pie! Dear Rico, thanks for letting me sleep in. That is always a good gift.

Bangs

I trimmed the girls bangs tonight.

Both of them have one side that curls up a little more and it always looks crooked. It turned out very short and wig-ish. Ha

It annoys me. And I stared at them all night.

Hailey said she wanted hers thick and straight. Well, she got it. Except the straight part.

I prefer them both without bangs.

This morning I woke up with a headache. It chased me all day long.
I feel so emotionally drained and so tired. There are days that I feel so incapable. I barely make it through the day with out crying and some days I end up crying. I feel ok about crying now. In private of course. I figure I deserve it since I didn't cry for so many years. Anyone who has kids and been husband-less, for whatever reason, can understand these feelings I think.
I got quite a few things done, but the kids bed time couldn't have been soon enough.
Some times during scriptures and prayers there is at least one child who is crazy. Tonight it was the little girls.
Hazel was jumping all over the place, she scratched my nose and head butted me. Avary got hit in the face and smashed her back on the corner of the wall.
I am praying they go right to sleep so I can go look at their sweet faces and they will look innocent and...well, less crazy.

So now, cranking up the new Taylor Swift Speak Now cd (one of Hailey's b-day gifts), making Kaden's star student poster, doing dishes and ten other things before I can go to bed and have another sleepless night.
Lets pretend like tomorrow I will feel better.

Holy Batman!

I have a 10 yr old!


(An awful picture of a picture, but the baby is still pretty.)

Hailey was a big baby! She was 9lbs 8oz. 20in. on the day she was born and 19in. the day after.haha And no I was not overdue.
My water had been broken too long and developed an infection in the amniotic fluid. So of course this affected her lungs and breathing and her blood was full of infection. I got to hold her for just a moment before they took her and my body went into shock. I remember I couldn't open my eyes or lift my hand, but I could hear a swish of noises around me.
Ric went with her to be checked out and she was only getting 80% oxygen so she didn't come back. I was devastated. They told me she had lacked oxygen for too long and there was a possibility of brain damage, but we wouldn't know until she got older. Why would you tell a new mother that?
They were going to fly her to a different hospital if she didn't improve by the next morning. Her lungs were full of fluid and infection and where worried it had spread to her brain. I had to watch as they tried over and over to do a spinal tap but kept missing. Up to that point that was the worst feeling I had ever had having to watch my new baby be poked over and over again for various reasons and I couldn't hold her because she had to stay on oxygen. My heart broke. That was such a difficult time for me, my family was 1000 miles away and I was so alone.
She was given a blessing and steadily improved. She had to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks while she received antibiotics. I had to go home for one night without her, it was awful. Luckily they let me come back and stay in an empty room for free so I could be right down the hall. That was nice since her bill alone was $30,000. Because she wasn't getting enough oxygen she wasn't able to eat more than an oz. and had to have a feeding tube in her nose. My poor little baby.
Thanks to the priesthood there was no lasting damage of any kind. I am glad I live in a day with medicine and so much knowledge. And I thank my Father in Heaven for my baby girl every day.

Once we took her home things were so much better. I am glad she was my first because she had reflux and cried a lot and has always been super hyper, but I didn't know any better. It would have been so much harder if I had had a mellow one first.
Hailey has always had such a sweet spirit and definitely very strong willed . Luckily she has always loved good things and would cry if she ever missed church, she still does. She loves anything and everything to do with church. She is growing too fast for me, I wish I could slow it all down.
She can run and roll around in the dirt and climb trees with the boys and can even be obnoxious like a boy (thanks to all her boy cousins) and then dress up for a tea party.
She has always been so outgoing, but is starting to get more shy as she gets older. She laughs until she cries and bites her nails (thanks to her auntie). She is in such a hurry to grow up and is hungry for responsibility. I am always reminding her we all wish we could be kids again.
She has surpassed my shoulder in height and her feet are as big as mine she is always stealing my shoes. She is so beautiful and I love her so much. I am sad my little munchkin is fading, but I am excited to see who this little girl grows up to be.




First she had a party with family.


The next day she had a party with her best friends.

She had so much fun and felt so loved and happy.

With that I am glad that the birthdays are over for the year. I am exhausted!!
Now on to Thanksgiving and Christmas!
And packing and moving. BOO to that.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, you started a new job this week that you love. This is a huge blessing in our life. Dear Paycheck, I cannot wait till you start rolling in. I can honestly say my kids have more money than I do. Dear Packing, I loath you. That is all. Dear Back, could you please hold up for all of the back breaking work I have ahead of me, there is a reason they call it back breaking. Dear 3yr old, every night you get in my bed and lay right in my face. This = lack of sleep. I'm trying to remember that someday I will miss seeing your crazy hair come bobbing around my bed. Dear Hailey, today you turn 10. You are so tender hearted and growing up too fast for me. I love you little munchkin! Dear Ricardo, I miss you taking the garbage to the street and taking the kids to school (not the same thing by the way). And I miss you too.

WARNING...

Some Quality Information. Lots of Rambling.



Ric started working this week.

HALLELUJAH !!

Although he had to move to Reno for that to work out.
He will be the mechanic for the HVAC on the LDS Temple.

How did this come about? Well, let me tell you.

He had a job making good money working his life away 60 hrs a week as our life and family fell apart so he took a job working less hours and less than half of the pay. It helped some but not nearly enough. He lost his job there and his old job asked him to come back. Neither one of us felt good about that so we waited.

Some crazy man(his name starts with a B)put his resume in for the Reno position working for the church and we got a call the next week. We were a little confused. They did a phone interview and then flew us out for another interview, as you know.
So, you know I had zero desire to move. We have been separated for a year and Ric had been living in a whole other universe, which he was honest with them about, so I wasn't too worried about him getting the job.

But then they said he was the one. And that's where my life fell apart.

They have been interviewing for the position for awhile and said it was never the one the Lord wanted, but the spirit bore to them that Ric was. Now you would think their answers would be enough for me, but no, it was not even close.
At first it was not enough pay, and how can we afford to move when we are broke, how was it all to work? And really for me it was the fact that Ric had only been back for 4 months and it had been challenging. I didn't feel comfortable moving in town with him much less 14 hrs from everyone. The kids have been through so much, we have moved so many times and they are uneasy, they need stability and security. And so do I.
I felt terrified that I would be getting myself into a terrible situation. There had been progress yes, but how do you go from divorce papers to moving out of state? I am terrified of having to relive the last eleven years over again.
People think they can sympathize, but unless you have lived in these circumstances with your spouse then really you cannot understand what it does to you and your children. I don't expect people to understand especially because they don't even know what the problems really are. And it is fine that way. But it does hurt my heart when people say insensitive things.

All logic was screaming This is insanity, I would have to be crazy!!!!!!!!

I had a couple of weeks full of fear. Not fear of the unknown or the future, but of the very recent past. There was this possible gift being given, but people have free agency and there is no promise of a happy ending. It took a lot of crying and praying and faith for me. It took me remembering (someone reminding me actually) that the Lord has given me that special gift of feeling His love for me, to remember He loves me. He is aware of the risk and the cost and He is also aware of the blessings that I can not comprehend right now. I can see that the Lord could be giving me what I have always prayed for, the family I have always wanted.
And I can see that Ric working in the Temple everyday with really great people is pretty good insurance for him to be the person that he is trying so hard to be. It is not an easy thing to come back from where he has been and to keep progressing. There have been small setbacks, but I know he is deserving of this opportunity because obviously the Lord thinks so. He has worked two days and I can already sense the change in him. And it makes me happy.

I know there is a reason the Lord is sending us there. He not only opened windows and doors He removed walls for this to work out for us.

The whole process has taken over a month. I think the Lord knew I needed time to adjust and Ric to work out some things. We waited until the night before Ric left to tell the kids because I knew they would fall apart too and I knew I was going to have to stop crying and change my attitude and pretend to be excited about our "new adventure". If they sense fear they will latch on and I don't want that for them.

When we told them Ric talked about Lehi's family and what the difference between Nephi and Laman and Lemuel was. Nephi asked for himself and had faith and didn't grumble. We asked them to do this too so they could feel comfort. Hailey started bawling, not the fit kind, the sad breaking heart kind. Kaden said he felt like he was going to throw up and Avary said her heart was beating in her throat. Hazel was too tired and fell asleep before we ever got to the point and snored through it all.

We threw in all kinds of happy thoughts of all the things we can do together there and talked about how this is different than the last time Dad left because this time we will be a family together, which they all agreed is the most important. And then we bribed them with trying to find a house with stairs. When we bought this house they said they would trade the pool for stairs. I didn't want either one. The pool ended up being a blast, but don't tell anyone I said so.
Hailey was the only one who couldn't be consoled so Ric gave her a blessing and she quit crying and has been fine ever since. Kaden walks around saying "I'm gonna miss this place, this house, Arizona... Can we come back on the weekends?" Avary has been singing songs about Reno. And it wasn't until the next night Hazel was wondering where Daddy was. Ha I forgot to tell her!

So there you have it. Now I am all alone again and have to pack by myself...again. Time to de-junk. I am not even going to venture into the story of my woes about leaving my family that will only bring tears. I'll save that for later.

31

Oh, today has been such an exhausting day!
We did nothing.
Well, nothing to speak of.
Of course I still had all of my motherly duties to attend to.
I think I irritated an old back injury and it is really killing.
It's sad when I am trying to be nice and sweet with the kids but I am is serious pain and I feel like I am going to snap.
I didn't though and everyone is tucked into bed. All I have to do is wait for them to fall asleep so I can go take a hot bath. Maybe then I can get everything ready for tomorrow. My house that is in a disastrous state will have to wait.

I had a good birthday. Ric and I went out and shared a free burger at Red Robin and then ran errands with no kids.

My wonderful family took me out to lunch and spoiled me with gifts.

There was an awkward and embarrassing moment while opening my gifts. I was speed reading the cards they made me so I wouldn't cry and I almost lost it, but I sucked my tears in and tried to keep going. On the last gift, which was boots they pitched in to get me, I did lose it and just started to cry. I couldn't stop and explain myself or I would have gone into the "ugly cry". So, they think I really liked the boots, which I did but that's not why I was crying.
It was so nice that when none of them have any money right now they spent it on me, I felt bad but loved. And I love them so much I can hardly stand to think of leaving them. They are my best friends and my heart just aches. Well, good going now I'm crying again!

I don't like being in my 30's, but at least I am still on the low end. And I am praying my 31st year is nothing like my 30th.

Thank you to everyone who thought of me and wished me a happy birthday.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, it takes you 30min. to put your socks and shoes on. I have witnesses. Dear Headcold, you turned into an awful cough and have given me a good beating all week. Dear Prescription Cough Medicine, you weren't really mine you were my sister's (who just happened to have just gotten over a head cold and cough) just sayin. Luckily you are really gross and she had a lot left over and you let me sleep. After I stopped gagging of course. Dear Heating Blanket, I feel cheated. You only worked for one winter and the other night when I really needed you, you never warmed up to me you stayed cold and oblivious to my need for warmth. Dear Potato & Ham Soup, you were de-licious. Just right for a cold night. Dear 30's, I have not been happy with you, lets change that starting now. Dear Emotional Breakdowns, you've been hanging around a lot lately. At least you are inside and not for the neighbors to see. Dear Change, I think you are causing the emotional breakdowns. I am not ready, not even close. You are not always good and not always bad, I haven't decided which yet. Dear Birthday, I never look forward to you and I always ask for the same thing every year. I hope I get it today. Dear Holiday, you were so nice. The steak was yummy and I love my family. Dear B&D, i am so happy for your little miracle baby that joined your family this week, or should I say BIG miracle. I hope I get to hold him. Dear Rico, thanks for letting me sleep so much while I have bean sick. I am grateful.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, we have spent A LOT of time at my family's house lately and you haven't even once asked to leave early. I love you for that. Dear Halloween, you were fun and festive, but I am glad the candy is gone. Dear Bingo, kids LOVE you. I was the favorite aunt the whole time we played. Dear Cranky Pants, I admit that I have been wearing you too often this week, I should pack you away. Dear Head Cold, you make my face hurt, my eyeballs feel like they are going to pop out and it's impossible to sleep well. Maybe you have something to do with those cranky pants. Dear Holidays, I can feel you approaching and I can almost smell all the yummy food, mmmmm. Dear BellyFat and SaddleBags, I have a feeling you won't be going anywhere until the first of the year. Dear Rico, you have let me sleep in everyday this week, thank you.

Halloween

Halloween was fun. We went to cousin Ryan's 7th Birthday Party then headed over to Grandma and Grandpa's ward chili, carnival and trunk or treat.


Me and Avary were Kitty's.


Hazel was Cinderella. Later that night her crown fell in the toilet. Just toilet water, but still, it was toilet water.


Hailey was a butterfly. Talk about beautiful, I'm jealous.


Kaden was a Ninja. And of course my camera had to die so I didn't get his picture. Ric wore a spider man shirt, I think that is cheating.


And there was pumpkin carving.


The Family at the party.


And this is what happens at the end of the night after sugar and more sugar and grenades. No one has felt good ever since. I was glad they didn't get too much candy, it was gone the next day. I think we caught a bug though because cranky and crying has been present all week.