I am sick with a cold or something. The kind where you feel like you've been run over.
After I got the kids from school I decided to lay down. After all I don't have a bedroom door and our house is so small I can hear everything.
This is what I heard from my bed and how it goes down when parenting from your bed.
The fridge open and close twenty times as the kids sneak snacks into the TV room, Avary take her shoes off and sand spill all over the floor, Kade running around shooting everyone with his toy gun, the back door open twenty times (at this point I had to get up and lock the back gate so the girls could bury themselves in dirt out side) I didn't hear the back door close which isn't a good sign, scissors, high heels, Avary comes to my bed crying because someone stole her sucker, Hazel comes in crying and sits on me because she wants crackers and she has a sucker in her hand, Avary say "No, don't ask she will say no", Kade trying to trick Hazel into giving him her sucker (I yell "don't let him trick you Hazel" he has tricked her into giving him her birthday money 3 times now), Kade yell "put. the. gun. down.", then more shooting, (i'm ready to break the gun in half, but I would have to get up), the little girls giggling (which means they are making a big mess), a text- my VT reminding me of our appointment, me cancelling, knocking on the door (it's my VT bringing a pizza for dinner she offered to rub my feet HA I know she was joking but that is a dangerous thing to offer. smile) I looked awesome when I answered the door by the way, the little girls try and climb in my bed with a bread stick (big mistake), the kids eating, Hailey teasing Kade and walking around doing a very obnoxious fake laugh, it gets quiet for awhile (which means they are watching a cartoon I don't like), then Kade shooting everyone again (that. gun.), the kids jumping on the couch, (me hoping no one gets a concussion), fighting (me yelling from my bed for everyone to be nice), Hazel yelling "na na na boo boo" then run screaming into my bed, karate, the little girls tackling me and giving each other knuckle heads or whatever you call it, they are wrestling and laughing (which means someone is going to cry), Hailey's radio, Hailey singing, the little girls fighting, (me getting after them), Hazel trying to rub my shoulders, Avary tells me she wants ear wax for breakfast, that. gun., Avary bit Hazel's toe, Kade chasing Hazel pretending to be a turkey, Hazel putting her dirty feet on my pillow (bad idea), everyone climbing on me in my bed (me getting mad and telling them to clean up their messes), there is sand in my bed now, all the kids in the girls room now jumping on the beds Screaming like monkeys, Kade playing wall ball in the kitchen, (me yelling at Hailey to get out of the laundry basket, yeah), lots of tattling, Kade being a robot attacking people, laughing when there should be cleaning (which means someone is going to cry), a pillow fight, Avary comes in with pizza in her hand and a davey crocket hat on her head in high heels, Hailey yelling "it's not funny I'm going to tell on you"(someone pinched her bum), Kade ignoring me (i have to count to two before he comes) he said he was saying a prayer (yeah right), Kade pretending he needs to go to the bathroom because I told him to clean, (he says he's allergic to cleaning, little does he know he has to clean extra for as long as he is hiding in the bathroom), Hailey pretending to cry because she doesn't want to clean, Avary sweeping, Hailey turns her music up too loud, Kade comes out of the bathroom and all the girls start screaming "Kaden" it must be a coincidence, Hazel comes crying because her polly's sunglasses broke, (I ask for Kleenex, my head is pounding, I wonder why), Avary is vacuuming, more karate and that. gun., (me having to use one of the kids full name), Kade making faces at himself in the mirror, Kade asking Avary if she wants him to teach her how to fight, Avary attacks Kade with her davey crocket hat (she can hold her own), even more karate, sound effects, Avary comes and tell's me I'm poor (how did I not know that), Avary asks if she can eat in her bed for her birthday, Kade telling Hazel "that was a good defense" he got her to play fight with him (someones going to cry), Kade comes and tells me Hazel is doing good because she scraped him, Avary wants me to count polka dots (it's all a blur), Kade says "mom I know the abc's in math, I was rocking it" (uuhhh trying to remember if he is passing math), Kade tells me there is a ghost in the house, Avary still want's me to count polka dots, I confiscate the. gun., (oh look it's bed time), Kade tells me he ripped his muscles because he was running at school, and reminding me that Jelly (a dog) ate a squirrel head and there was blood squirting out, (me begging the kids to get their jammies on and just watch avatar), Avary squeezes into Hazel's footsies and makes everyone laugh, Hazel has gum, (no one is listening I have to use another full name), finally everyone is quiet watching avatar, I didn't shower them, it's going to bother me all night, I get up and put the kids to bed, this is when I wish I had a bath tub, but a hot shower and quiet can do wonders.(why am I so exhausted when I have been laying in my bed).
Well, now we just spent the day together. Actually that was only four hours.
