I'm pretty sure that everyone will have to encounter a really cold shower at some point in their lives. And I'm here to help you through it. To share the valuable tips and tricks I've learned to "survive" and maybe even "thrive".
No. Nope you won't thrive...forget that part.
First, the power of the mind. Stay calm. Force yourself to not think about what you are about to do.
Turn the shower on and step in to the shower BUT under no circumstances touch the water. This is important because you have to trick your mind into thinking "oh I'm just going to take a regular old shower" and if you touch the water at this point it's all over.
Next you are going to grab whatever soap, cloth, or whatever you normally use to wash your face. You are going to get it wet (still keeping your body out of the water) and lean forward to bring the cloth to your face. Cleanse and rinse.
Now if you have long hair like I do you need to listen up. You are going to lean back (again, keeping your body out of the water) and slowly carefully get your hair wet. Now you have to lean backwards far enough that your hair and the water does not pour down your back. Grab your shampoo and get to work. Quickly.
There is no time for luxury here so I multitask and use the shampoo to shave my armpits.
Again you are going to use the back bend to rinse your shampoo out of your hair. At this point you are going to be getting wet. You will notice that you have muscles that you weren't aware of because they will all become very tense. Also it may become hard to breathe.
Repeat steps to condition your hair.
*If you are a man, according to Will...who is a man, you most likely have shorter hair. Now he says you will bend forward instead of backward to shampoo. And you will be using the shampoo bubbles to wash your face. I think you need a man face to be able to get away with this shortcut though.
Now for the body wash.
I use a poofy shower thing to lather up the body wash and soap up (still out of the water) get good and clean, no need for short cuts here or it's all in vain.
Now things are going to get dangerous. Pay Attention.
You are going to start with one body part at a time and quickly rinse under the water.
One. Part. At. A. Time.
You may realize that you have stopped breathing due to the shock of ice water on your skin causing your lungs to freeze and your heart almost stopping. You need to force your self to keep breathing. We aren't going to pretend that you can take deep breaths at this point because we don't need to be putting unrealistic goals into your head. We just need to keep your mind kind of blank, kind of just go into a denial mind set.
Beware of the porcupines aka legs. Do Not even consider shaving your legs. They are not the same as your pits, which have to be done. It is impossible really and should not be attempted. Frozen shards of leg hair can be dangerous and cause quite a bit of damage. If you are like me and shave your legs everyday this is a time of adjustment and you just have to let some things go knowing that there will come a day soon when you can once again regain your dignity.
OK! You are done! You will be shivering and your color will be blue or purple, don't worry this is normal. Some slight convulsions may occur.
Lastly, this may be the most important information.
There is no need for anyone to try and be a hero. We don't want anyone to get hurt. And there is nothing to prove.
DO NOT- under any circumstances immerse your whole body under the ice water!!! Paralyses may occur!!! You will lose all common sense and scream uncontrollably...you may even cry. Your mind will become completely irrational and you may become delusional and begin to believe that you can go without showering. We don't want to hurt the innocent people who are forced to be around you so it is important to follow this warning.
*If possible marry someone who is awesome and thoughtful. Because they will notice when your life is in danger and they will get a room heater, turn it on full blast and point it directly into the bathroom while you are in the shower. That way when you step out of the shower the air will be warm and you will recover/thaw much more quickly.
Well, there you go. Survival tips to help you feel confident that you CAN face your ice shower and you CAN survive. It's best to Accept the fact that you will not ever like it.
*some statements may be slightly exaggerated.
*No...no...they are quite accurate.
