Sometimes I am lonely.
I love the way life is right now, if I stay in today.
Being here with my children, having a routine, having a sense of peace and the spirit in our home.
Walking them to school early in the morning, being with Hazel and running the house during the day.
Walking to pick the kids up from school and helping them with their homework, hearing about their day, loving them , being here. Thanking the Lord for every day I get to be at home with them and that they know I will be here for them when they need me. Which with four is every minute. Ha.
I love putting my clean babies to bed and tucking them in and singing them a song and watching them fall asleep.
But then...I am lonely.
I clean and study and read and never get enough sleep.
It's different than having someone there ignoring you, it's not as lonely as that, but I still wish I had an adult to talk to. Not just any adult, one that I could talk about the kids and all the things that go along with them. You know all the things that people aren't really interested in hearing about. I wish I had someone who wanted to hear about our day and all the things rolling around in my brain that I have been pondering during my scripture study, all the things I am learning. Just to be able to share all of my thoughts, the kind you can't really share here. With an adult. And I mean an adult that would actually care about what I have to say. I think that person is non existent, ha. It's hard having very limited adult interaction and it's not that kind of interaction. And sometimes it's lonely.
I am grateful for right where we are in life right now. I can actually breathe. And I know we are right where we should be and I am able to focus on the kids which they desperately need right now.
I wouldn't trade the way things are right now to not be lonely. But, you know, sometimes it is.
