You know, Every night after I get the kids in bed and I do a bunch of stuff you can never get done when the kids are awake and the time ticks away. With every task I seem to remember one more thing I didn't get done.
After I study me scriptures and say my prayers and lay down in bed that is when it begins. My mother's guilt.
Everything I wish I had done better during the day. All the times I could have been more patient. All the things on the quality time list that never even got a glance. My messy house, that turns into, I must not be teaching the kids chores well enough. And then morfs into shouldn't my kids know how to cook and do their own laundry by now.
And then I start into the why. am. i. so. tired. phase. I am always so exhausted. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally. I can't even do math anymore if you ask me anything that has to do with numbers my mind immediately goes blank and a brick wall goes up. And just the thought of having to lug the kids anywhere makes me want to take a nap.
It can go on for hours until I cut myself a break and decide that tomorrow I will have energy and do all the things that I want to do and be the mom I want to be.
And the cycle continues.
Am I the only one with this disorder? Not that I just feel like I am falling short, but really seem to be falling short?
I need a break or a maid, but really I think I need to go patch the corner of the wall or freshen the paint or finally hang the pictures or clean out the kids closets or even FINISH UNPACKING. See what I mean? It must be a disorder.
