I feel like my castle has been stripped to the studs maybe even to the very foundation. Which when faced with this is a comfort to know that it can not be taken from me, it is mine and it is in the very depths of my heart.
I have been thinking of my life, who and what I am outwardly and inwardly. These two do not look as much alike as i wish they were for so many reasons. I want to change that. I have been searching my heart and my mind, I have lost so much of who I am trying to be what others wanted me to be. I want to become who the Lord thinks I am. When you have sources in your life always telling you or showing you that you don't matter or that you will never be enough it is so hard to think of yourself as the Lord does. I have a long way to go, but I have started by asking myself "who am i"? And "who do i want to be"?
Don't panic, this isn't the first time I have asked these questions. But sometimes things happen in life that change who you are. Sometimes parts of yourself get buried in sadness, disappointment, sorrow, depression the list can go on. You thought I was going to say snickers, twix, ice cream and fat didn't you. Anyway, I thought I might try and dig myself out a little at a time and find out who it is that I am. Who am I when I stand alone? Am I who I want to be? Not even close.
I am a mother, I have been a wife, I am a sister, a daughter, a friend.
