Will and I have posed for this picture more times than I would like.
Do I look calm, collected? In My pretty hat.
I was not feeling calm or collected.
Even though I had been reassured many times that this surgery was so minor to the last ones, that I would not wake up in pain and that it would be a 20min piece of cake.
I believed them, I really did, but my body didn't. I felt nervous and a little scared
even though I knew there was nothing to worry about.
Will was with me, but somehow I still felt alone because no one really gets how hard it is sometimes.
The last two months have been so difficult for me. Difficult for everyone I think.
That's how it goes when the Mom needs help.
It's taken it's toll on me in every way, not just physically but mentally and spiritually, even though I know the pain of surgery will get better and I will eventually be relieving severe chronic pain. I know that. That is why I had to do all of this in the first place, but some days it really is so hard and discouraging. Not just for me, but the whole family. There comes a point I think when everyone just gets tired of you not feeling well. And that makes me feel so bad.
This surgery went just as planned, although I may be the first to get nauseous after needing two extra doses of meds. My stomach is cool like that.
I have suffered from carpal tunnel for at least 14 years and never had a clue that is what was causing the pain. From my shoulder down into my fingers, actually it was my hand going up, would be the worst pain and numbness and I could never just get a normal night of sleep.
It sounds silly but I remember months ago sitting in the waiting room to see the Dr. for something totally unrelated and praying that he would be receptive to the spirit and be able to help figure out what was wrong. I was there for my knee, but may have begged him to shoot some cortisone into my shoulder because it has helped my knee so much. That got him thinking and after some tests and a cortisone shot in the wrist that relieved so much pain, I was eager to just get the surgery over with.
Somehow I always schedule things when Will has to work late and all weekend cause I think I will be fine.
My hand as you can see swelled up and was about to burst. And hurt by the way.
Unfortunately for my surgeon, but fortunately for me, he is in my ward and lives down the road. So the poor guy got a call from me late evening and a visit. I felt so bad for bothering him, but there was someone else there already having him check his ankle out so I'm not the only one. Poor guy.
It's a good thing I can laugh at myself. He teased me because my bandage was too tight cutting off the circulation. I knew that! But the papers said Not to take it off! He re wrapped it for me as I told him he wasn't allowed to tell anyone I bothered him for that.
Life is never boring around here.
