So... since my kids can't help themselves from telling everyone anyway I guess I have some news?
We will be moving towards the end of July. To Thatcher, Az. Yes, the Gila Valley.
If you were to tell me 6 months ago I would be moving to Thatcher I would have laughed at you and I don't laugh as much as I used to.
It's a long story, but to try and make it short...
In December of last year I knew that it was time to think about moving into our own home, I had so many things happen and a lot of promptings that I needed to be able to control our environment for my children, for our family so that we could be our family again. My children were not ok and this was killing me, breaking every part of my heart, on top of everything else, that I could not make them ok. So I started praying and praying and praying and thinking and thinking and looking and looking. It has been a long process. One day my friend calls me and tells me I should move to Thatcher, I think I laughed, but she had a valid point. Lower cost of living, cheaper college, starting over. I was very resistant. But then as I'm asking the Lord to please show me where he wants me to raise my children, to help me so that I will know where He wants me to go? I wasn't open to anywhere. And then I received some advice that I needed to be open to any and all options if I really am asking for guidance. This was very true.
So, I took my kids for Easter, they all loved it. Me? I loved visiting, but I couldn't deny this was the first place that didn't cause anxiety in any of the kids. So...I took awhile and looked into every aspect I could think of, spent a lot of time thinking, a lot of time trying to overcome my big fears so that I could even feel if it was right. And then I fasted and took my time before I asked the question. The Lord heard me and answered me. So I then asked for a blessing so I could try and want to. I can't even remember what it said, but I do remember my Dad and our neighbor sitting with me for an hour talking it all over with me and leaving feeling like it was obviously the best thing for us.
Next I drove up there to find a place to live, but before I left I asked the Lord to make my heart feel a peace and calm, to help me to want to be there. Again, the Lord heard me and answered me. As I passed the temple I had this peace come over me and I just felt so different about that valley. I felt comfortable the whole time I was there and my mind feels so much better about it. I don't know how it will all fall into to place or how I will physically move us there or be able to afford it, or how I will get all the things we need because we left everything in Reno, but I just feel like it will work out. I feel like the Lord knew I wouldn't hear that so He prompted my friend and she listened.
Now don't misunderstand. I am forever grateful for my parents and their willingness and support when I needed a place to go. For all the work and sacrifices that they make for us to live here, they put up with a lot and give up so much space and quiet for us. I love them so much. And I know they will always welcome me back into their home if I need to.
This is about me and my kids and that feeling that we are not Home yet. I hope that we are on our way to home. I have such a hard time letting go of our old life, but I am trying to find the strength for a new start and maybe we will even find a little happiness.
