Friday Letters

I don't think I look like this when I sleep. She must be tired.

Dear Husband, you came back to Az this week and I haven't really seen you since. Dear Boxes, I look at you in the garage and want to run away, but not to Reno. Dear Hailey, you have been feeling so sick all week and still you have participated in way too many activities. Making a stop by the Urgent care at 11:00pm. It makes me sad but I'm glad you have had fun. Dear Kaden, last minute dentist appointments are never very fun. Here's to Dental Insurance! Dear Avary, I loved your dance recital so much, it makes my heart happy to see you do something you love. And you are good at it too. Dear Christmas Shopping, you are not very fun with such a small budget. Luckily there are Gma's and Gpa's. Dear Ladies, I love it that I can call you last minute and you will all go out to eat or walk around a store with me. LOVE YOU! Dear Briana, you are so loved and one of the brightest spirits I have known. You are in all of my prayers. Dear Denial, we have been good friends the last month or so and are still going strong. I have a feeling we will be arm in arm until lets say...around the 1st. If it's too much to bear to part it might be longer. Dear Christmas Eve, I love spending you with my family. I love that my kids know the real meaning and I hope they carry it in their hearts. Dear Ric, I hope you have fun while you are here.

Merry Christmas

I can't do Christmas cards this year. I am sure you can understand and you will forgive me. It's been a rough year.

Our Family 2010



Yes, Hazel's head is still attached.


Look at how beautiful my babies are!


Hailey - 10


Kaden - 7


Avary - 5


Hazel - 3

Dancing Angel Avary

Avary's Dance Recital was so cute. I loved the costumes and her cute little face.

It was her first semester dancing and she absolutely loves it.

I am so sad we have to move because I found a Dance Teacher that we love and can afford too.

They made all of the costumes and even put glitter in her hair.

I LOVE IT.

She made sure that all of the girls had their picture taken and gave them all a glass angel.

Delivery

Guess what was delivered this morning?



Only 9 days before they are coming to load the truck.
But no pressure right.

I am going to miss...

I am going to really miss going to Barro's for lunch with my best friends.
They have a toy room with a TV playing cartoons so you actually get to sit and eat your food. And somehow the kids actually eat theirs.
The girl at the counter knows us because it has been our hangout for so long and she gives us a discount.
The air "freshener" in the bathroom makes me want to vomit.
It is my favorite pizza. The crust is heavenly.
How am I going to live without Barro's?

A Bend In The Road

When we feel we have nothing left to give
And we are sure that the song has ended,
When our day seems over and the shadows fall
And the darkness of night has descended,

Where can we go to find the strength
To valiantly keep on trying?
Where can we find the hand that will dry
The tears that the heart is crying?

There's but one place to go and that is to God,
And dropping all pretense and pride,
We can pour out our problems without restraint
And gain strength with Him at our side.

And together we stand at life's cross roads
And view what we think is the end,
But God has a much bigger vision,
And He tells us it's only a bend.

For the road goes on and is smoother,
And the pause in the song is a rest,
And the part that's unsung and unfinished
Is the sweetest and richest and best.

So rest and relax and grow stronger.
Let go and let God share your load.
Your work is not finished or ended,
You've just come to a bend in the road.
Helen Steiner Rice

This poem hit home for me. I don't want to go around the bend. It is taking an awful lot of blind faith for me. I have to find ways to remind myself nearly every day.

Sugar

We made our gingerbread village tonight.
Which means whatever clothes the kids were wearing are pretty much ruined.
And their faces are stained from the frosting.
And my table is really sticky.

Can you tell Hailey has been eating sugar at her toy shop? No?.....Hmmmm


What about Kade? Any sugar at Santa's house?


Hazel was one big sticky mess. I hope her roof holds up with everything she piled on top of the bakery.


Avary was very patient for her turn to eat the frosting. And she did a good job on her candy shop too.


The kids (kaden) stole all of my candy decorations for his house and all I was left with was this very sparse chalet. Snowed in.


We had hot chocolate with gingerbread marshmallows mixed in. Kaden, again, was stealing any he could get his hands on.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, this week you found a place for us to live, in the right school district with stairs! I am so proud of you (for real I am) and the kids are happy about the stairs so we didn't break our promise. Pray it goes through. I am. Dear Em, I enjoyed babysitting you and loved it when you snuggled on my lap and let me hug you. Dear Movers, I was so excited when you told me you load and unload all of our stuff. Huge sigh right now, my back can only take so much. Dear Hailey, you did so awesome in your orchestra concert. You must have talent because I have never heard you practice, yet you could play all of the songs. Who knew. Dear Miss Jenny, you have been 3 out 4 of my kids preschool teacher and you are the best. We will all miss your sweetness. Especially when I have to become the preschool teacher. Dear Marilyn, I love you. I will forever be grateful for you and how much you have helped me. Tearing up now. Dear Lady A, I enjoyed our dinner together and really appreciate what you had to say, thank you. Dear Jo, I had fun going to your work Christmas party with you, I laughed so much and had fun. And I am still dreaming about that steak, I think it was the best steak I have ever had. Drooling. Dear Garage Sale, you were a success! I wanted to collapse with exhaustion, wait I think I did, but I am glad it was worth it. Dear helpers, thank you for all you did to help me. It's a sad day when my mother who is in her 60's held up better than me. Dear Week, you kicked my fanny. I can't wait until life slows down. Dear Rico, we are all excited to see you next week.

O.K. or Not O.K.

I have been having such a hard time lately. If you've been around me it's no secret.
I will be doing ok feeling like I can do this and then something so small, but big in other ways, will have me drowning in fear. Feeling so overwhelmed and so incapable. And so TIRED! There are certain aspects of this whole moving situation that are so scary to me. I am walking off the edge of a cliff in the dark. But the only one I can trust is the Lord and I know he will catch me. But sometimes it's hard when I wish I could look to my parter and not feel so alone in it all, but we are not there yet. This is a long road and I don't know where it leads.

I am so grateful for priesthood blessings, they have brought me so much comfort and in moments of feeling defeated I have been given strength far beyond my own. Because at this point it is not my own strength, that I am sure of.
I heard these words in a song the other day and they touched my heart. Reminding me that His light can penetrate to the very depths of the sea, to where ever you are.

There's a joy inside I can't contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it's pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face

Breaking through the dark
Suddenly your grace
Mercy reaching to save me

Making my life something so beautiful

The Great White.

I feel like it has been forever since we've gotten a paycheck. Maybe cause it has been pretty dang long.

I had big plans of sitting down at the computer and taking a lovely stroll clicking through my online bill pay.

I was looking forward to it.

Maybe taking a trip to the store, piling my kids in the cart and burying them in things like...shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper, toothpaste. Oh and the beloved paper towel. Maybe a couple of long sleeve shirts for my cold featherless baby chicks and some socks for their little toes. I would covet all the to die for cuteness in the little girls section and aaaww over the little baby clothes as I passed by.

But it wasn't meant to be...no no it wasn't meant to be.

Instead it will go to the big white wale in the driveway.

Now now, I am so happy and blessed that we are able to fix my lovely van. It carries all those cute little bodies around every where we need to go as it guzzles up all of our money.

It has actually been the best vehicle and really dependable. We haven't really had any major problems with it. Knock on wood.

But I think where we are headed we are going to need a heater and some breaks and to not leave a trail of leaking oil all the way there.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, this week you got to do some cool training in the Temple. I am glad that you love it so much that you are excited to call and tell me about it. Dear Van, you are still eating my money and now you are mysteriously developing a transmission problem after visiting the shop when that part of you worked fine before you went in. Hmmmm. Dear Winter Sing, I don't usually look forward to you, but it was kind of funny to watch Kaden look disgusted with the performance until he held his belly and sang HO hO ho. And the kids behind me were so awful they made mine look very well behaved. Dear Dance Class, I am so sorry I forgot to bring Avary. I had it written down and everything, but I kept forgetting what day it was about ten times throughout the day. I feel sad about it. Dear Ladies, who know their garage sale etiquette, thanks for helping me. Who knew it was so complicated. Dear Garage Sale, I am dreading you. I am regretting you and I wish I could back out, but I already told everyone and got everything ready. I hope I make enough money to make it worth my time. Dear Never Ending To Do List, when I look at you I want to cry and go lay in my bed with my warm heating blanket set on 7 and sleep all day. Enough said. Dear Ricardo, I love to see you growing spiritually and I hope you find a place for us to live.

7 stockings?

I came into the room to find this.



NO - there is no baby on the way!


Avary tells me, yes, there is as soon as my tummy gets big. I tell her NO. And then I pause...and ask if she thinks my tummy already looks big. She said no. Wheew!

I don't know why Hazel kept putting this up there. I didn't ask. I just thought it was cute.

I have to wash this tutu almost daily, as you can tell. She insists on wearing it to bed half the time.



She is so cute!

A story for you.

I don't know what this picture has to do with anything, I just thought it was funny Kade made his pizza into a snowman.

I was just finishing up the dishes, the kids were playing on the computer and watching T.V. waiting for bed time when the power went out. All at once they are screaming and crying while I am fumbling in the dark trying to find the flashlights. Hazel is hysterical because she tried to run and crashed into to something. You would think they had never been in the dark before. sheesh.

I went outside to see what was going on only to be blinded by the neighbors Christmas lights. So, it was just us in the dark. I tried and tried to reset the main breaker, with no luck. So I had to go ask my neighbors if they would help me. He tried too with no luck and told me to call a friend in the ward who is an electrition. It was late and I didn't want to but I knew there would be no rest for me otherwise, see above reaction.

My lovely neighbors insisted on taking the children to their house until we figured out what was wrong.

And I let them.

Yes, I know you are shocked. I was proud of myself for accepting their service. I was already having to call someone in the ward at night and pull him away from his family because why? I can't flip my breaker? Why not let the neighbors watch the kids?

He came and was able to reset it and noticed the breaker to the water heater had blow, so he reset it and it blew the main breaker again. So I went to open the garage so he could look at the water heater and was met with a very unpleasant smell of burning plastic.

The wiring on the timer to the water heater had caught fire.(we have never used it)
As soon as I saw it I said "hmm two nights ago I had a dream there was a fire by the little girls room and was awake for a good hour wondering what I would do if that happened, we don't even have a fire extinguisher." Bad I know. The little girls room is just on the other side of this wall. Chills.

So I am super grateful that my breakers worked properly and shut off all the power. I am super grateful that I swallowed my pride and asked for help, always a hard thing for me. Plus I am grateful I was even home. I had a meeting I was supposed to go to and had called and cancelled.

So, $8.00 and an hour or two later he removed it all and repaired it for me. We had to go to Home Depot and my gas light was on, I was praying I wouldn't run out of gas. I was waiting until payday. That would have been embarrassing. How helpless can one gal look in one day?

When I went to get the kids they said they didn't know if they wanted to send them back. I said I might just think about that.
They watched a movie and ate popcorn and candy and played with their chihuahua Bambi. I had to shine the flash light at their face and demand that it was time to go just to get their attention.

All in all it was an eventful night.
Now I know we need
-flashlights handy
-a fire extinguisher
-to always be friends with an electrition
-10 gage wire on hand
-smoke detector in the garage
-to air out the garage before we let the Realtor come over
-nice grandparently neighbors who are in your ward
-to teach my kids not to run or panic in the dark
-to swallow my pride and accept service

It was also nice to know that My Father in Heaven is watching over my family and taking care of us. I said a nice long prayer and I didn't really get any sleep that night. Lets hope tomorow is a little more boring.

Friday Letters

Dear Husband, this week you have sent me multiple texts trying to brag that you are at Lake Tahoe and pictures of the snow and deer. I'm glad you are having fun, but it's not working. I am enjoying 72* and the sun on my face. Dear J & S, it's been far too long. Congratulations on your SIXTH bundle of heaven. I love you guys. Dear Road blocks, you know, I have absolutely NO desire to move. But I will go where the Lord wants me to go, so you might as well get out of my way. Dear Mom, it was nice when you showed up at my door with lunch, love you. Dear Neighbors, thank you for watching my kids so they wouldn't have to sit alone in the dark. They didn't want to come home after the movie, popcorn, candy and Bambi the chihuahua. Dear J & R Koch, aka fellow ward electrition, (why is electrition not in spell check) Thank You so much for coming to our rescue so our house didn't burn down. Even when it cut into the little precious time you have to be with your family. Dear Van, aka The White Wale, you are eating money faster than we can make it. Cut it out. Dear Mr. Nikki, thank you for putting up with the Mr. I hope he's not leaving a big mess all over your house. Ours has been surprisingly clean. Smile. You are helping him be a better man. Can't wait to meet you. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you, thank you, for protecting and taking care of us I will talk with You more on that later. Dear Ricky, what a blessing it is that you have such a wonderful opportunity to work in the same place you worship.