Right now my house is a disaster. Avary is watching ponies and Hazel is taking a nap and I should be cleaning. I am doing laundry, but I should be doing all of the other cleaning kind of things in between. But instead I can't stop thinking about change.
I have been thinking about this for a very long time. No not hours. . it has been years.
I have a testimony of repentance, forgiveness, faith, hard work, patience, all of the things that go along with change. I have used all of these things often.
I'm not talking about weather or not it is possible because I know that it is, we are promised that it is. We are even told what to do and how. The thing I am talking about is, do they?
Have you ever had one of those toxic friends? The kind that when you talk to them they drain you and you feel exhausted after being with them? They seem to make the same mistakes over and over and you know they know better but their life always seems to be falling apart. And every time they make progress and seem like they learned something they go and do the same thing again! It seems like there is no consequence that ever seems to be bad enough for them to change. Eventually you end up having to distance yourself from them because somehow their bad choices end up bringing you down, or stressing you out. Or if you are too close they end up hurting you.
The hard part is making that choice to let them go. I guess it's because who will take care of them when you are gone? And it is so hard to finally come to the conclusion that they are not going to change.
It's not that they don't know how, it's not that they can't, but they choose not to.
I have to say I do not personally know, lets say .. any men..(now don't get all -you are a man hater-on me because I'm not). I just happen to not know any that have actually changed their lifestyle or bad behavior or how they treat their wife or kids or bad temper or emotional or verbal abuse. It can be a long list. I'm sure they are out there, but I don't know any of them that choose to change and at some point don't change back. I know some women like this too, but I just happen to know a few who decided to change and never looked back. At what point do you say, see ya later?
There are always people who are going to say, why did you let them treat you that way for so long? And then the one's who say, you think You are worth something? You should stay forever, what makes you think You deserve better? Well. . that's what they are really saying, right?
Really, I wish there was an answer like, after this long, or at this point, or if this happens, but there's not. It is a HUGE risk to ever try and trust them again or give them another chance. How long should you spend your life in that cycle?
I know the real answer is trust in the Lord, He is the only one that can give you an answer like that.
No one ever wants to talk about these things because there is no easy answer. But I think about it. Think about it, do you know someone personally who has changed their heart and their behavior and never changed back?
