Friday Letters

Dear Children, you've had a lot of fun this week and were definitely very excited for Christmas. I Love that everywhere we go someone always comes and comments on how much you all seem to love each other. I love our family. Dear Santa, you got every single one of the kids to sit on your lap and have a long conversation with you at the ward Christmas party. Best Santa ever. It helped that he gave them a big bag of goodies afterwards. Dear Scout Leader, who I think knows Santa pretty well;). Thank you for being such a good leader to Kade. Kade said"he didn't forget me!" when you brought him a gift. He really looks up to you. Dear Christmas Eve , dinner with Will's side and extended family. Mexican potluck that was super yummy, and a fun white elephant gift exchange that the kids loved. When we got home the kids were insane with excitement. They opened their jammies and then they had a musical gift exchange. When Liam got a bag of choclate coal all the kids were jealous. When deciding if he would share he said "well let's see...who has been the nughtiest this year" All the kids started spilling all the naughty things they have done, just for a piece of chocolate! Liam ended up winning that one with him having bitten Becca. It gave us a good laugh. Reverent Christmas songs and then all into bed! Too bad Will and I were up until 3:30 am. Dear Christmas Day, the kids let us sleep until 8 am! We had fun opening gifts and watching thee kids play happily. We had a visit by Clark Grandparents and at the same time Kade accidentally shot me in the mouth with his nerf gun. It hurt! I got him back ha. The day went by so fast. It was a good day. Dear Will, we survived Christmas and even had a little fun too. Thank you for the gifts. Here's to many more Christmases. I Love You. Dear Self, this time of year, and life, it has been nice to have a reminder of what the Savior really has done for me. As I think about this past year and all the hardships and trials, blessing, along with all of the things I want to change, I am grateful I have the opportunity to start over each day. Grateful for the Sacrament each week, for the gift of repentance. And as I take advantage of that gift I am reminded of how much we all need to give others the same thing we seek, forgiveness. Even when they don't ask for it. As I see others who suffer and won't seek the Lord, won't even turn to Him when His hands are outstretched to them offering, well, offering everything they are looking for everywhere else but Him, It makes my heart ache. At the same time it reminds me of what I know to be true from my own experiences. It reminds me of the only place, the only person I can ever receive what my soul longs for. Worth, Rest, Healing, Peace, Forgiveness, Love. He really is The Gift.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, we had sick kids, concerts and half days. School is officially out for Christmas break. Dear Rain, i like rain, but I like it a lot more when I don't need to go grocery shopping. And grocery shopping is so much worse during Nov and Dec in a small town. Dear Pictures, waiting too long for a family picture means using the self timer in the back yard. Not too shabby even when one child was bound to make me mad. Dear Will, it will be nice to have you home for the weekend. I wish we could go on a real date, but we will have to wait for that. And by the way, you are kind of hard to buy gifts for. Dear Self, i wish I was as crafty and festive as I used to be. I've learned to let a lot of things go for now. That's fine as long as it's not forever.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, we have a list of traditions you love to do at Christmas time. So far we have decorated the tree and decorated gingerbread houses. Dear Emi + Liam, you guys were great in your play with EAC. I am glad we went opening night cause poor Liam has been sick the last 3 days. Dear Becca + Hailey, you girls went to the school dance and sounds like you had fun. You both looked so pretty. Dear Kade, you started playing basket ball this week. You have mixed feelings, but I think it can be good for you. Dear Hazel, you had your Christmas program for school. There are a lot of 1st graders! We spotted you right away, good thing cause the first thing you asked was if we saw you. Dear Avary, you decided to stop by the neighbors house after school instead of coming home first. I wasn't too happy about this after worrying about you for an hour. I am always interested to see what you say in your prayers. The last couple of days you have been praying for our elf Jerry not to lose his magic. Dear Headaches, I wish I knew the rhyme and reason why sometimes I go to bed, dream and wake up with a horrible headache for days and days. But man, it's not fun at all. Dear Road Trip, having to drive down to Chandler to pick up Hailey's trays of invisalign, have a quick lunch with my Ma and Sis, run errands, and drive home was supposed to go smoothly. My ipod was dead, my lunch was gross but the company was good, I failed to make a list and had a horrible headache all day making the drive home miserable. Those trips are more fun when Will goes with me and he drives. Dear Will, you may be experimenting to find out how many days you can work in a row. Yet you still find time to make me smile every day and listen to the kids jabber on during your lunch break and take the garbage out and attend the kids holiday concerts. Everyone is always so happy to see you walk in the door. I am really grateful I get to spend my life with you. Dear Self, it does me good to get out a little yet when you struggle with health it makes it really hard to do things that make you feel better emotionally. This has been such a long year physically and it's not quite over. You learn so much emotionally and spiritually when dealing with health problems, not just about yourself but about those around you also. As much as I hate it I am also grateful for the things that I have learned. There is a time and a season for everything. Have patience.

Friday Letters

Our 3rd Thanksgiving together, it's just the beginning.

Dear Children, you all came home soaking wet from school. None of you seemed to mind too much walking home in the rain. Dear Hazel, when I was putting you to bed you were almost asleep and asked if I had picked out your clothes for the next day, I said yes. Then you asked "do the pants have holes in the knees" I said no, "good cause I chase boys at school". And then fell asleep. You are so funny. Dear Becca, I got to take you to get your braces put on this week, I think you look cute. You have only two years to get used to them. Dear Avary, you have such a special heart. You never fail to pray for Will's brother, who is ill, whom you have never even met. You are so genuinely concerned for him, he is in every single one of your prayers. You just amaze me. Anyone that you pray for is a lucky soul because I know your prayers are being heard. Dear Boys, Kade and Liam, I swear you both have grown many inches in the last couple of months. You are growing too fast! Dear Hailey and Emi, I was glad we were able to make it to both of your choir concerts which were back to back but on opposite sides of town. You both love to sing and you both did great. Dear Activities, there are just so many! Comes with having lots of children and lots of schools and lots of talents. It is a very busy month and we are only 5 days in. Dear Willy, If I have to spend 6 hrs in the car in one day I am glad it is with you. I love the time we get to spend with each other. I count us lucky that we are still surviving after we both cracked open our fortune cookies and they were empty...I say it's cause we write our own future, right...? Dear Self, nearly every day I am reminded of all the ways I fall short and all the ways I need to be better. I am just really grateful for all the blessings I am given and for my Savior who makes change possible. Others can't see what my trials and burdens are, but I know the Lord does. When I can't adequately express those things it is a comfort to know that the Savior already understands my heart.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, you only had two and a half days of school this week, got to eat yummy food and play with cousins, your favorite. Dear Hailey, you had a great family party for your birthday followed by a little party with some friends at our house. We had a nice fire going in the back and roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. A week later the same friends showed up early morning to kidnap you to breakfast at Denny's. You have nice friends. And I overheard one of them say that you have cool parents. I think they are right about that. Dear Refrigerator/Freezer, you decided to die on a Sunday and we lost so much food. After a lot of searching we now have a new one with a lot less food in it. The kids don't believe me when I tell them that is their Christmas gift... Dear Oven, perfect timing to stop heating well is the day before Thanksgiving when I am trying to bake pies and pumpkin bread. Please don't die completely yet. Dear Thanksgiving, Will worked late the night before and early the morning after, but we still traveled to Mesa to be with family. We didn't get much sleep, but it was well worth it because it was a great day. The kids had so much fun being with cousins and it was nice to be able to visit. Dear Ice Cream, we had a good friendship for a whole month. I was surprised because I haven't even liked you for years. The love may be over now because you sound pretty gross. Dear Keys, (someone) left my keys at the post office over the weekend. Thank you to the kind soul who put them in the drop box and called the post office and left a message to let them know they were there. I was surprised when I stopped by to look for them and they had 5 other sets of keys also. Dear Will, you make me laugh. I am super grateful for that because when life feels really hard we can still laugh. Also you rub my shoulders when I have a headache and you do a lot of dishes. I think I will keep you around;) Dear Self, I won't ever skip over Thanks giving, it is such an important reminder even/especially when you have "less" than others or less than what you wish for. Love that gratitude makes what you have more than enough.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, oh it's been a long week. A cold week. With a couple of sickies around. Dear Avary, you came home with a headache on Monday and wound up laying in my bed so sick. Poor thing. You got to watch some animal shows that you love so much when you missed school. I am glad you recovered pretty quick. Dear Hazel, you say the funniest things lately. You have a cold right now and I feel bad for you. You are so cute though when you ask me if you have a cowd. Dear Kade, helping you study for your bones test was...interesting. I am glad you passed and that you had a list of the written words to choose from, otherwise it would have been...interesting. Dear Hailey, you turned 14. You had a friend over and opened your cards, but we will party for you tonight. You are growing up too fast. Lets just have all of your teen years be fun. Ok? Dear Will, I felt bad for you when you had a horrible cold all weekend while you worked. I don't know how I managed not to catch it. You have been kind of...we will say funny, this week. I will admit you have made me laugh more than a few times this week. Dear Self, it has taken so long for my old lady back to heal. I knew it was bad when I heard a snap sound. It has taken all of my patience not to do anything and just wait for it to get better. Here's to hoping it continues to improve through the weekend cause it's busy around here.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, it's been crazy the last couple of weeks. I am glad to be home with you. I am so relieved that you all had a fun time while I was away. Dear Halloween, a couple of weeks ago...I am glad we had our trunk or treat on Wed. so I got to see the kids dressed up and I didn't miss it completely. I didn't even dress up this year. We had a fox, monster high, ghoul and Alice in wonderland. Dear Babysitters, I feel so fortunate to have found such good people to take care of my kids while I was gone. The kids talk about them everyday and how much fun they had. They taught them so many things. They even cleaned! I really could never have gone if I didn't know my kids were ok. Thank You SO Much! Dear Sister W, I was so grateful to you for taking Hailey to the Dr. when she got knocked down by a car on her bike when I was gone. We are part of a great ward. (she is fine) Dear Avary, you had a great birthday. You wanted an animal party, no surprise there. You were so surprised when you opened your presents. You went crazy for your fur vest and stick horse. You opened the box half way and said "oh just what I needed an umbrella" you were so polite and thankful even though you had only seen the stick and thought it was an umbrella Ha. We had to make you finish opening it so you would see the horse you had been asking for. Oh my little Babycakes, I love you so much! Dear Hailey, next week you will turn 14yrs old. You are growing up way too fast! You wrote me a very sweet note this week. Thank you:) Dear Kaden, I have been watching you. I saw you play cards with Hazel for and hour and a half and make her balloon animals. I didn't even know you could make balloon animals. Dear Hazel, I missed all your sweet hugs and your toothless smile. Dear Cold, the weather had been just perfect when I left town and I come home to it being so cold. I had to turn the heater on today! Dear Hawaii, I am now in love. There is just too much to love. Except what it does to my hair. Dear Water Jug, I have lifted you a hundred times. It only takes one small, wrong move and my back breaks. I really hate it when I put my back out. At least it happened at home. Dear In Laws, Thanks to Will's Dad for being so generous and taking us all to Hawaii. I really enjoyed getting to know everyone better, it was so much fun. The whole family are such great people. Dear Will, I loved getting to spend all of my time with you for a whole week. That was the trip of a lifetime and full of so many happy memories with you. Dear Self, it was so good to have a break from life for a moment. Somehow my brain still doesn't want to work. My mind is all over the place. It must be because I am a year older.

Friday Letters

I love these girls so stinkin much! They are such good teenagers...so far.

Dear Children, wow, who knew the power of $2.00. All seven of you worked so hard around the house. All for a couple bucks. Without money it's a battle, and a fierce one. Dear Kade, you earned your Arrow of Light this week. You were pretty happy about that. I'm proud of you little man. Dear Hailey Lou, we attended your first choir concert. It was great, I really enjoy singing. Dear Avary, you are about to turn 9 yrs old. I don't know if I can handle any more of you getting older. Especially my little girls. Although if you can survive to the age of 10 without any major injury it will be a miracle. You  have had a rough week with first pulling a muscle in your neck at gymnastics, that was super rough. And believe me I know, I have done that twice. Once you sprain it you are more likely to do it again. Then today you were doing handsprings on the trampoline, over corrected and smacked your chin and face right on the pole. You haven't recovered from that yet. You can't open your mouth, eat or get off your bed. You just cried for 2 hrs and went to sleep. I really hate it when you get hurt, it makes me so sad. Dear Hazel, you have been a great little helper lately. I'm glad one of my children likes to clean...half the time. Dear Will, we stayed up way too late this week. But we still accomplished a lot. I'm glad we got to the Temple this week, it would have been better without the headache though. I Love You Lots. Dear Self, the overwhelming panic has completely taken over. I mean really bad. It's the first vacation I have ever taken without my kids for such a long time. I am not prepared at all and I'm freaking out about leaving my kids. Like in tears at the thought of it. I just can't be excited yet. It's rough on my Mamma heart.

Friday Letters

I love it when the girls match on purpose. They are so cute.

Dear Children, we've had half days and parent teacher meetings. You played in the mud, so it doesn't get much better than that. On the other hand a few of you have come home crying for one reason or another. Some days stink. Dear Parade, dropped off the 4 kids who participated and then found a nice spot to sit. But man that was one long parade. And it had the weirdest things in it. I just kept wondering what half of it has to do with a parade and when it was going to end! In case you are wondering, if you let your 13 yr old say hello to a friend, just over there, you won't find her when the parade ends. You will end up waiting forever then driving around looking for her. And you will be very annoyed. It's better to just let them wave. Dear Fair, I braved the county fair alone with the kids. I thought it would be a lot harder than it was. I had forgotten that every time I have ever taken them somewhere alone they always behave so well. I am probably a little more strict, but they always surprise me and we have fun together. We only had one child throw up, the zipper will do that to you. I can't even look at that ride. She recovered and we enjoyed the rest of the day. I made them ride as many rides as possible. I was pretty happy when they were all ready to head home around 5:00! Another fair out of the way and I have a nice sunburn on the back of my neck to prove it. Dear Halloween, I think all the kids have finally decided what they want to be. One thing done. Figuring out who is going to be with my kids on Halloween? That is the harder part. Dear Shots, It's amazing how well these steroid shots work. Once the soreness fades it frees up so much space in my mind not having to be in so much pain. I only wish I could get them more often. Dear Kirby People, 20 minutes you say? 4 hours later.... One of them commented on how happy our family seems after watching all the kids together. We are pretty lucky. Dear Awesome, knowing someone who does clothing alterations. Especially when I don't have a sewing machine. And you don't even feel bad cause you get to pay them for it. Dear To Do List, I can't even finish the list. It is already so long. I don't even want to think about it, it's overwhelming. I have been procrastinating and pushing it out of my mind. I don't even want to think about it. Dear Will, it was so nice getting to spend a little time together, even if it was just in the car. You've been working late and are working the weekend. I wish I could give you a break. Dear Self, it's so annoying sometimes how you can feel so hopeful and have a great feeling for the future, and be looking forward and feeling capable. And then the next day it just feels so overwhelming and it's a struggle to keep that feeling with you. Life certainly isn't meant to be easy, but I could go for some easiness.

I'd love a bigger house, but I certainly don't take this part of having a "little" house for granted.

Friday Letters

My baby is 7. I'm not ok with that.

Dear Children, you all came home from school soaking wet two days in a row. That's cool. I just can't justify driving you down the street. Dear Brain, I swear I have to look at the calendar 20 times a day or I forget about the never ending appointments and activities. It's been a busy week. Dear Hazel, you had a great Birthday. You had everyone all dressed up wearing crowns for your princess party. You were so excited to be turning 7. And I finally gave you the gifts that you ask for every year. You screamed with happiness and are in heaven playing with your special toys. You make giving gifts so fun because you are so excited and grateful. Dear Awkward, that time when I did pretty much nothing at PT and ended up passing out and they called Will at work. Yeah I'm going to  have to suck it up to make myself go back now. Life can never be boring. Dear Halloween, I finally put up some decorations. I thought I was going to get out of dressing up this year until the ward changed the trunk or treat to a Wednesday. Really? It finally falls on Friday and now we have to dress up twice? I'm working up slowly back into being festive. Dear Procrastination, we have a trip coming up. The kind were you have to plan ahead. Find babysitters, make arrangements for all the things that need to happen. I'm running out of time and pretty much have nothing in place. I need a nanny! Dear Bishop, I feel grateful that you think of our family and that you are supportive and encouraging. We can't get away with too much when you live across the street. Dear Fair, the kids have been talking about you for months now. You drain my bank account and my energy. There's been a lot of talk about pigs? I hope that I don't lose any of the kids as I brave it alone. Dear Will, I love the person that you are. I enjoy when we can just sit and talk and enjoy each others company. And how is it that you have to work and get out of going to the fair with all of the kids two years in a row. I hate fair rides. Dear Self, I don't think I could make it through this life without knowing the Lord loves me. So many times that is all I have to fall back on. I know He cares about my family and I know He wants us to be happy. When I think about how I gained my testimony I realize how we need each trial to push and pull at us to get us were the Lord wants us to be. And when it feels like you can't take anymore I am so glad that I know my Savior will always be there. To Him I will always be important and He will always listen. The blessings just as much as the trials remind me of what is important in this life. And I'm grateful. Life is hard. But we can always be grateful.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, oh what a week. We had sickies, toothaches, braces, traveling, birthdays and on and on. You go with the flow, so that's good. Dear Hailey, I enjoyed getting to spend the day with you and I love getting to see who you are becoming on the inside. I am proud of you. Dear Avary, you have had the worst toothache. After six hours in the car to visit the dentist the verdict is that two of your molars are coming in and smashing the nerve. No way to fix it. It hurts you bad enough you were wanting him to pull it out. You were sick on top of that too. Poor girl. It was actually so so enjoyable getting to spend that much time alone with you. I loved every minute. You are such a smart, sweet, funny, happy kid. I love you to pieces! Dear Kade, you've been feeling crummy too, which means you inflict your whiny voice on my nerves. You finally got to use your pocket knife at scouts, which made you pretty darn happy. I don't trust you with a pocket knife by the way. Dear Hazel, thanks to Auntie Ranell you had another tooth pulled. Goodness girl, you only have two little teeth in the front now. It's pretty darn cute if I do say so myself. Except when you are standing too close to my face and a drop of spit gets on me from you sweet little lisp. Dear Adventure, yeah, we can call it that. Coming home from Mesa on Sunday. I was going around a curve in the canyon and my tire blew on the suburban. Kaden's math teacher pulled up not long after. He had to get under the car to get the spare and got all dirty, changed the whole thing for me and then followed us all the way home. It was just the nicest thing. Dear Will, multiple times this week you have had to get the kids to bed while I have been gone. I appreciate that. I am glad that you were also able to spend some alone time with your kids. They all love you so much. Dear Self, I have been pushed to my limit so many times lately. In so many ways. I have been so hurt and disappointed by others actions. And I admit there are some people that I have just lost faith in. I hate when you put your line as far as you possibly can tolerate, yet others will still push you past it as if they don't care. I don't like having to hold up boundaries even though I know it's what is right. It's been a rough week. But at the same time there have been the best moments in the simple things. Moments when I know the Lord is the one caring for me. I really could not make it through this life with out him.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, this week has flown by. There have been a lot of kids in and out of this house this week. That's a good thing. You also gave me some extra love because I cleaned your room for you. Ha you will never know what I threw away!! It's a win win this way:) Dear Hailey, for YW exellence you sang with your friend. It was so pretty, sounded so good! We don't hear you sing like that at home. I'm grateful you have leaders who can teach you all the stuff I don't know how to do. Dear Liam, you are turning 9. You are almost as tall as Kade at 11. You gave Kade the brother he has always wanted. You're my bonus boy, Happy Birthday! Dear Monsoon Season, everyone's saying how fall has arrived. I walk outside and I'm thinking, what are they talking about? It's hot and humid, it's monsoon season, not fall. Nice to get a huge down pour with thunder and all and have the power go out during church. Ever nicer it quite raining when we had to walk to the car. Dear Dr., thanks for shooting me up with cortisone! Cause I have an old lady body. Too bad there is a two shots per day limit, I need it in like five places. I went for the left knee and right wrist. If you suffer from carpal tunnel it does wonders! I'm looking forward to being able to sleep at night. I hear the shot to the wrist is the worst, but I've had it twice and it's not that bad to me. I have way worse pain on a regular basis so it is very worth it. Dear Awkward, when your husband says he knows a short cut out of the court house basement, so you follow him. Instead we end up locked in the outside basement...and I still follow you. Dear Will, I love that you get up and help get the kids off to school every day when you could just sleep instead. And that you let me sleep when I had a huge headache all night and did it all yourself. And that you helped Kade figure out his math for an hour. You let the kids do extra things that I would probably just say no to cause I don't feel like it, like play on the computer and take them to the store to get things like glitter hairspray and Pokemon card binders. But you still make them help you pull weeds and mow the lawn. You take the time to sit next to Hailey and listen about her day and watch a show with her, that you have no desire to watch, just because she asked you to. And then you say things like, if I watch the voice without you that is considered cheating in our marriage, and make me laugh. Just so you know, I notice all of the little things you do and I love you for it.Dear Self, I am looking forward to regaining strength again. Cause I NEED it. I could use my memory back too. I'm trying to be satisfied with one step at a time, but I would like to skip a few. I swear I will decorate for Halloween this year, which means it should be done now. I WILL be more festive than last year! I also found that it is easier to just throw things away that it is trying to find a place to put them in our little house. But we could use a bigger garbage can. And I will live through the next five birthdays we have with in these next two months. And I will be grateful for every single day, there is always something to be grateful for. If you can find one thing, there are always ten more that you didn't quite see before.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, I think you have had one of the most memorable days of your life this week. It is good. You belong, you are wanted, you are loved. Dear Sick, starting my week by spending two days stuck in bed sick. I hate being stuck in bed when you can't sleep or read or do anything but feel miserable. Dear Sleep, too many days not being able to sleep. Too Many! Days of torture I tell ya! Dear Rain, why is it that it rains the hardest when I have to go outside? The rain is good cause my house hasn't flooded. Dear Awesome, sending all of my kids to school on bikes when it ended up pouring rain all day. Dear Avary + Hazel, you two have been so happy together lately. I love hearing you play and sing and dance together. And I love that you want to match all the time. It makes me happy. Dear Marilyn, I am so grateful for you. You give me so much hope and confidence. Thank You is an understatement. Dear Adoption Day, a happy, special day. Everywhere we went I watched how you told everyone you knew that you had just been adopted, with a huge smile on your faces. Every single one of you. It brought tears to my eyes and made my heart so happy to see how much it means to you to have Will legally be your father and carry his name. A day to never forget. Dear Will, how can a mother ever adequately express what is in my heart towards you when I see that a part of my children's heart has been healed because of a selfless act from you. I will spend the rest of my life trying to show you. I Love You. A lot:) Dear Self, I could never have foreseen how blessed I would be. I can never describe how grateful I am to my Father in Heaven, because I know all comes from him. What if I had let my fear win over two years ago instead of trusting the Lord and moving so blindly into my shack. How different life would be. How glad I am that I had the strength to do hard things, to trust the Lord. My greatest desire is to devote my family and home to the Lord for all that he has given me. And to remember that on the really hard days. My heart is so thankful.

Adoption Day!!

The "New - est - ish" 

Members of the Clark Family!

The kids were brimming with excitement from the moment they woke up this morning.

You can see it in their eyes.

 Waiting to go into the court room.

The little girls are in awe of "the gavel"

Avary got to pound the gavel and said "Order in the Court!" Later she said "I should have said Off with your head!" Ha

They thought the Judge was going to wear a white wig and pound them on the forehead with his gavel and say "You are now Adopted"

They were surprised that is not how it goes haha.

Hailey and Kade couldn't wait for the gavel action and then when the Judge said they could all come up and have a try, these two got super shy. They are regretting it now.

Outside the court house.

Will's Dad and Wife Vicky attended also. I really appreciated that.

We missed Will's kids. They were not able to miss school. We will go back for some pictures.

I learned the court house is 98 years old.

It could use new flooring....

Right here is my whole life.

The New - est - ish Clark children!

What Love can do

Dear Will,

Today we went to stand before a judge

You swore to be, give and accept a very long list of responsibilities

For not just your three, but four more children

My children

Instead of being, acting and carrying the responsibilities as a Father figure

You agreed to

Be Their Father Forever

Today you legally adopted my children to be your own

One of the many reasons I love you is because

Other than them carrying your name

Not one thing in our daily life will change

You have already filled the role of a Father

You have sacrificed for them

You teach, listen, hug, comfort, console, spend time, money, work, provide

Attend, help, love, read and tuck them into bed at night, hold them when they cry

Also give tolerance, patience, forgiveness, and understanding for the burdens they carry

And go without all the things you could just give to yourself

All the things a Father does

You were already doing

And they love you 

As you gave them a special gift

That you picked out for each one of them

You told them you were blessed to get to be their Father

And reminded them that what makes you family

Is Loving each other

I Love You

For all that you give

I Love You for Loving Them

When they have absolutely nothing to offer you in return

But Love

An endless amount of Love

Friday Letters

Dear Children, still loving school. Still messy and never want to clean. One of these needs to change. Dear Week, how do you fly by, yet the day drags? It's already Friday? Dear Rain, we got some, but not like Mesa area. I love having some good overcast rainy days. Dear M, it was so good to see you and talk with you. I got to feel like myself again for a little bit. Dear Briana, still missing you. I'm sure you could feel how loved you are. Happy Birthday. Dear 9/11, it's weird sometimes that the only one of my kids that were alive was Hailey. I was glad that every single one learned about it in school. I was thinking of not just the ones that were lost, but the ones who lost loved ones and the ones who survived. Glad my brother was one of the ones that survived. Dear Hailey Lou, you have been wanting to go by your middle name for some time now. Louetta. My grandmas name. What's wrong with Hailey Lou, LouLou, Lou, Louie all the names I already call you? Dear Will, it seems like I haven't seen much of you this week. Dear Self, I'm trying hard to feel like myself again. It's not so easy. Having a day of feeling like myself makes me really miss it. The struggles of life.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, loving school and still going strong. You even get all your homework done. I think it's going to be a good year. Dear Awkward, while sitting next to Hazel's bed singing her a song a huge spider comes out of nowhere, hits me in the chest and runs down my shirt. I handled this extremely well given the circumstances. What would you do? The logical thing to do in my mind? The clothes come off...run to my room while losing the clothes. It's the only way to be sure. Naturally. Little miss muffet... Dear Awesome, coming home after a couple of days away and having all the kids rush Will and attack him with hugs and squeezes and smiles. And me? I had to wait hours for my turn because he was buried in children who love him so dearly. The awesome part is just how dang lucky we are. Dear Liquid Gold, oh man, Kayloni's salted caramel sauce is to die for. I can eat it by the spoon full. If you like caramel, believe me, you want a jar of this.  Dear Bad Luck, driving down the freeway minding my own business and a rock flips up and hits my windshield. A nice big crack right across my line of vision. Who's got time for that! Not to mention I don't have money for that! It was a perfectly good windshield! Dear Hazel, I met with your teacher this week. They all love you so much and just kept saying how much you have improved, how smart you are and how sweet you are to help the other kids. I am so dang proud of you and all of your hard work. My sweet little Hazelnut. You're toothless grin just kills me every time. Dear Kade, When I met with all of your teachers I didn't know what to expect. You are one lucky boy because every single one of your teachers seem so kind and genuinely want to do what ever they can to help you succeed. And your homeroom teacher just happens to be our landlord, which is pretty awesome cause you already really liked the guy. This is such a huge burden off my shoulders to have others help me. Dear Avary, your love of gymnastics may have just doubled after watching the Gabby Douglas story, I can't even count how many times. We have had some injuries, you know the normal getting kicked in the face and knocking things over from your flips. I do love to see you be so passionate about something. I believe you will excel. Dear Hailey, you got up early and made everyone fresh crapes with strawberry sauce and whipped cream. It was pretty yummy. If you can leave the work space clean as if it never happened then I will gladly teach you many things in the kitchen. Dear B, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you know that you are not alone. Dear Sis, sometimes you just need each other. I am glad to have my sisters. Dear News, we have some pretty BIG and pretty exciting news! But you will have to wait two more weeks to find out what it is. Dear Will, I have really loved our time together this week. You worked so hard and are so worn out, but you still took the time to drive me to Gilbert for my Dr. appointment. I cherish the time that we got to spend talking in the car the entire way there and back. How you always turn the radio off so we can talk. And how sweetly you are caring for me as I am not feeling well. And on top of that you are taking care of our seven children and the hundreds of duties that accompany our awesome family. I know it can be so stressful at times trying to divide yourself 8 different ways and still be kind. You have done a great job at that this week. Dear Self, I'm not feeling good. I'm feeling so bad. Lack of sleep, and too much pain. But I have found many things to be grateful for this week. Especially the fact that when my children are faced with such difficult trials in life, yet I have this peace because I know I have the truths necessary for them to succeed in this life even though it is hard. God loves us. He gave us the way to overcome and directions to find our way home to him. Without it...it would all eat me alive.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, you have settled into your school routine pretty well, you even get up and ready on your own. So far. Homework has been manageable, so far. As you grow older life just gets busier and busier and still I wish I could provide more for you. And I have been taking naps, it's my new thing. Dear Painting, there is no way I could ever add up the hours of my life that my sisters and I have spent painting. And not on the canvas kind. Painting houses ect ect ect. After soooo many moves I became extremely burnt out with the whole thing. My kids miss our chalk board door though. Finally after a year and a half I am going to paint the door. Yep. We will see how it goes. Dear Not Me, "Not Me" spilled a whole thing of baby powder in the bathroom sink, clogging the drain. And then all the other "not me's" have spread it all over the counter. I imagine it fell out of the mirror cabinet thingy into the sink. Why do we even have baby powder? Oh. Maybe it's cause all the "not me" kids are acting like toddlers when it comes to cleaning up ANYTHING in this house. Dear Awesome, sitting next to an older lady that I had never met at church and he asking me if I am visiting from the college ward, cause I'm just so young. Her eyesight must be failing her, but it may have been the highlight of my week. Dear Mosquito, you have returned. I believe the entire purpose of your lifespan is to see how much of my blood you can steal. My face and my neck though? Not Cool. Dear Will, thank you for the time you spent with the kids this week. Helping Kade fix his bike, pushing Hazel on the swing, watching Avary's gymnastics, and listening to Hailey go on and on and on. Dear Self, I have too many serious things going on in my head and in my life. Some days are so dang hard when I feel the gravity of it all. It doesn't help that I struggle with the fuzzy lines of false hope/positive outlook. There are times when reality smacks you hard and it hurts. You know what I'm grateful for? Prayer. Scripture. And I would like a vacation all by myself without having to worry about anything else. Do those exist? I'll take a maid and cook with that also.

Friday Letters

There is no shortage of love for this guy around here.

Dear Children, this week has been full and it makes the time fly by. I am glad you are all enjoying school. I cannot understand why when I have such a bad headache you have to be so. dang. loud. though. Dear Avary, you missed two days of school this week because you were sick. Poor girl. Dear Rain, sometimes I really enjoy the gloomy days of dark clouds and the sound of rain. I do not however enjoy the bugs. Or irrigation for that matter. Dear Awkward, walking right into an open cupboard feels exactly how it sounds. Dear Headaches, really it's an awful curse to have. Dear Flat Tires, on bikes that is. I really hate flat tires. They happen so often and I have no desire to fix them. I don't like it when Will's back is out. Dear Awesome, I got milk for $1.88. That is pretty fantastic around here. Dear Will, I hope you had a good Birthday. You are kind of hard to buy gifts for. And you're spraying wax all over the cheesecake while blowing out your candles was pretty impressive. I love you lots. Dear Self, I am really thankful for the scriptures and how they somehow manage to fill the need for comfort and guidance and many other things. Sometimes it is amazing as you are reading through, what you read at that time applies and is exactly what you needed. It's pretty cool.

Friday Letters

1st Day of School 2014/15

8th-5th-3rd-1st

Dear Children, school began this week. It's been a busy one. Dear 1st Day, of school that is. I was so relieved that each child came home happy and excited and wanting to go back! That me me a happy Mamma. Even better that a friend dropped off cookies, perfect after school snack that I didn't make. Dear Friends, thank you for calling, messaging, dropping by, it was an answer to prayer. And none of you even know it. Dear B, thank you for listening to me and being my friend. And for staying up late playing silly games with us. Dear Awful, the week leading up to school starting I suffered, from many things, but waking up and going to bed with headaches was really not cool. Dear Ward Party, I wasn't planning on going, but the kids were all crazy and I wasn't into feeding them. Free dinner, swimming, it all worked out good enough. Wear them out, that was the goal. Dear Will, you're turning 39. Your back is out and you aren't feeling well. You got old really fast. We made it through some pretty crappy weeks, but I love you more than ever. You are my best friend and I feel lucky to know you are mine. Dear Self, I hate it when I have so many really hard days in a row. The world can just feel so heavy. Once again I am reminded of my Heavenly Father's love for me and my family. And how quickly, almost instantly, the fog clears and I know exactly what He wants me to do and I am given the strength to do it. And the reminder that I am never really alone because I am a daughter of God. YOU are never alone.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, it's our last week of summer. We have spent the whole week at Grammy and Papa's house running errands and going to appointments. Half of you came down with a cold and I was wishing I had Kade's inhaler in the middle of the night a couple of times. Dear Busy, it has been buussy. But we all have clean happy teeth. 3 out of 4 had no cavities and I had two fillings replaced. It always feels good to be caught up and cavity free. Dear Hazel, your wriggly front tooth happened at just the right time. When auntie Ranell is around we make her pull all of the loose teeth. She paid you a quarter after 2 broken blue strings. It took a thicker pink string and that did the job. You are so stinking cute with both front teeth missing:) Dear Kade, we discovered that you have like 5 loose teeth ready to come out. One of which already has the new molar pretty much in all the way. That thing is coming out today. Dear Avary, you have big plans on having Ranell adopt you so you can have all the animals you want, a ranch full of horses and lots of money. If we had lots of money I would let you have lots of animals cause I could afford to have someone else take care of them. Dear Hailey, we picked up your new glasses. They are pretty cute. They seem to be a little more breakable than the last pair so take care. You are soaking up all the love your auntie showers you with. I like that. We have gotten to spend a little more time alone together also running to and from appointments, it's been nice. Dear Awesome, playing games with fun people and laughing til you cry. I love my people. Dear Family, I swear I haven't moved back in, you just live near all of the good Doc's and conveniences. I have enjoyed getting to sneak out for a bite to eat or staying up late laughing. Good for the soul, you know. Dear Will, I'm afraid that you have gotten used to being a bachelor again and will be shocked if we come home. Should I stay until my family kicks me out? Dear Self, once in a blue moon it feels.nice to be back in my old room with my old bathroom (i say "old" but it's actually much newer than my house, which is probably why I like it)and be able to take a nice bubble bath, have people to talk to and laugh with and cousins for the kids to play with and just take a break from the reality of life. It will be a big smack in the face in a few days when school starts along with the many activities, responsibilities and a very tight budget. No more visiting family or hanging out at the pool. Oh well. We will adjust if I am forced to. Maybe, just maybe, the house will be cleaner and I will exercise more?

Friday Letters

 i love it when they match

Dear Children, I am so amazed at how forgiving you are. And how willing you are to love so much. I am proud of you. Dear School, I am not ready for you to start. Not. Yet. School supplies are killing me! I have only bought for 3 of them, but still, there is more to be done. 2- 8th graders, 6th, 5th, 2- 3rd, and a 1st grader. It will be a busy year. Dear Hailey, you have had to deal with so many grown up things. You do your best. And I am so proud of you. Dear Stuff, there is just too much stuff to do. I make a list and still somehow to forget to make that phone call or schedule that appointment. Or forget about an appointment all together. Oh, my aging memory. Dear Crazy, oh there is some craziness going on over here! I decide to go in my room for some "quiet" and somehow everyone ends up in my room on our bed being crazy. Rubber band guns, pillows, squealing, screaming, spanish, cameras, laughing, laughing until your eyes leak water, ect. Oh, you know just the normal stuff that happens when you have 7 kids. It's all silliness I tell you! Dear Ma, Happy Birthday! Tomorrow, that is. I hope you have the best day. We must celebrate in a few days when I get there. I Love You. Dear Will, I don't like being apart for so long. Lets not do that again, well, after this next time I have to leave again. Maybe you will miss me as much as I miss you if I keep leaving town? So, I guess we could say we visited the jail and stood before a judge in the basement of the court house this week haha sounds so suspicious. I love you Will. I'm pretty sure you know that:) Dear Self, I don't like to see my kids sad and hurt. It hurts me. There's no way to save them from the trials of life, but I can't even describe the gratitude I have for the blessings the Lord gives us. We are never alone, especially in our heartaches. My family is absolutely everything to me. We cry and we laugh together and everything in between. Our house is full of love. I couldn't ask for anything better.

Friday Letters

                                           

 my boy

Dear Children, you have had the best time playing with your cousins. I love to see you play and be lost in your own world of childhood summer. Dear Week, we crammed some stuff in there! Two trips to Mesa for the Dentist, Oral Surgeon, Orthodontist, Optometrist. We still have $ more dentist appointments to go! We took the whole fam to the Variety Show, which I loved, I thought it was so great. We watched the 24th Pioneer Parade while I was dripping sweat. And then had the dinner which caused me to go broke. The food was pricey and on top of that I got each person their own cotton candy all because I didn't want to share mine. And then enjoyed the fireworks. Dear Kaden, my little boy. You turned 11 yrs old. The time is going by way too fast. I can't quite accept that you are growing up. For your birthday Will took you and two of your friends off roading, then we took you too eat pizza and wings and then we all went to a movie. When we got home we had a new bike waiting for you. THEN you had a family party Mesa and Grandma accidentally gave you three $5's and $1 instead of two. Lucky. I'd say you had a great birthday. Dear Mesa, I just had to make appointments for the kids on the hottest day of the year 116 degrees. It was really hot. Dear Hailey, you are lucky your day at Sun Splash was the day after the hottest day of the year. You are also lucky you have Aunties that love you and give you make overs but still make you behave. Well, maybe that makes me lucky too:) Dear B+D, I was so glad we had lunch together. I really miss you guys. Dear Shoes, I never really understand how wearing a pair of shoes to church, and not even walking hardly at all can give me a pair of serious blisters on my (ring toe?) on both feet. I was sitting most of the time! Dear Awkward, it's always cool to rush for church and so you throw on your dress but cant quite reach to zip it all the way up, thinking let me have some one do that for me, then forget. And then walk into church during the opening hymn, sit down and have the person behind you zip it up the rest of the way...I was glad I sat in the row right in front of my sister...and that I wore my hair down. Maybe I should look in the mirror before I go anywhere. Dear Family, I miss girls night out. I don't know why we call it that cause we bring the boys too. And there's nothing like staying up late and laughing at funny stuff with your Sis. Dear Car Wash, I did that just so we could have a huge dust storm along with some rain. Your Welcome. Dear Will, you worked all weekend. I hope you enjoyed the quiet house cause I missed you way too much and I'm coming home. Dear Self, I'm not ready for school to start along with the millions of activities and things that go along with it. I could use another month of summer time. I am reminded daily how blessed I am. And every day I choose to be thankful.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, we have spent the week relaxing, kind of. You've played with friends and just kind of hung out all week. It's been nice. Dear Temple, a quick visit is still so edifying. I am a lucky girl to have the Temple less than 5 min away. Dear Avary, poor BabyCakes. You haven't felt well all week long. I hate it when you are sick. Dear To Do List, the same things have been on my list for a very, very long time. I've had to let some things go while attending to the more important. Like sanity, although I feel much more sane and at peace when the house is super clean and organized. sigh.  Dear Yoga, oh my friend, how I've missed you. I am so looking forward to regaining my strength again. Dear Rain, I love rain. And thunder. I do not however love that it makes the bugs flock to the front door. Dear Will, my Man. It has been nice to steal away a few moments together this week alone, even if it is just a few moments. Dear Self, I'm trying to soak up ever moment we have before all the chaos starts with school. My goal is to get a good nights sleep. Just one, please.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, It has been a more low key week of sleeping in, for the most part. I am so glad you all still like each other. Dear Ranch, we all love the Ranch. It was nice weather with an afternoon rain each day. I love the sound of rain on the tin roof of the cabin. The kids never got tired of being there. All that was missing would be a hammock for me. Dear July 4th, the Heber fireworks were so pretty. The time flew by and we had a great time. My favorite part is the big BOOM you feel in the ground and the echo it causes. Dear Headache, it feels like I waste a couple of days a week lately battling a headache. I'm glad the kids have had friends to play with. Dear Day Trip, trying to save money we did a quick drive over to Kartchner Caverners. It was pretty cool to see and even more amazing if you spend any time thinking about all the amazing places that are still undiscovered. Then we headed over to the Cove indoor swimming pool. The kids had a blast there. I prefer an outside pool I think. Maybe because it was so crowded or I needed more fresh air? It was fun though and the water wasn't too cold so I could actually swim. We made a day of it, getting up at 6:30am and getting home after 10:00pm. I was running on 2 or so hours of sleep that day, I'm not sure how I survived. Dear Rain Storm, on the drive home a big storm hit. The rain was just pounding us and the sky was a constant light show of lighting. It was so beautiful. I love rain storms and thunder. Dear Eating Out, with a family of 9 it's not something we can often because it's just too expensive! We can't even go to Taco Bell without it getting too pricey with a large family. With half of them being teenagers and tweens they aren't satisfied with getting one thing off the dollar menu like when they are little. Anyway, we planned to take them to Olive Garden for dinner, on our day trip, you following still? It's a treat because they don't have Italian in this little town! We always get looks when we are seated from those around us, they may be frightened. But it seems just about every time we go out someone comes up and compliments us on how well behaved our children are. I feel lucky this way cause our dinners at home are pretty loud with everyone talking, laughing, singing, making completely random noises, you get the idea. Dear Will, it's been so nice to have you home, even if we are both sitting in bed reading. I'm not too excited about you going back to work. I'm sure you have mixed feelings. Smile. Dear Self, I need sleep and just a little food and a shower. Oh and my own bed. I also need to regain all the strength I've lost this year. It's a goal I've been forming in my mind. It's been a rough road for me physically the last year and a half, but I really need to get back to my old self in many ways. Also, I got to hold two babies in the last week! They were so sweet and cuddly I wanted to cry..I may have just a little. Some of the most precious moments of my life are when I carried my babies, and then would just sit and hold them. Something I will never ever regret was taking the time to enjoy my babies. Slow Down. Enjoy them while they are little. They grow up so fast.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, I think we were all pretty burnt out this week. We did go to the pool one day, but most of the time you just stayed home. Dear Avary, I'm not sure what to do with you! You sprained your ankle pretty bad, we thought it was broken. You were relived to hear you wouldn't have a cast, me too. This time you got hurt from doing something normal! Ha Well, wearing wedges and walking and curbs can be pretty dangerous. Believe me, I know. Dear D+S, your wedding was so beautiful. I am so excited for you to start a new life together, I know there is so much happiness ahead. Dear Family, It was so great to see so much family that I haven't seen in years. Weddings are always good for that. I had the best time. I even got to see all 3 of my long lost brothers! Dear Utah, there is so many fun things to do there and it really is so beautiful. I can see why people choose to live there. Dear Drive, after the wedding we drove until midnight and then slept and headed off again for home. 13hrs in the car. It was all good until I got a little car sick and got a huge headache. When picking up Will's car from MaPa's I hit both of them up for a shoulder rub, just enough for me to drive the remaining 3hrs home. I'm glad to be home. Dear Earthquake, we wondered why some stuff was knocked over in the house. We were one hour too late to feel the earthquake in the Gila Valley. Dear Packing, I think I am starting to hate you. I'm a little tired though so maybe that is affecting things. I haven't even un-packed from the last trip out of town. Dear Ranch, the kids are so excited. And it isn't even as fun as it was when I was a kid. Good thing they don't know the difference. I'm glad they have so much fun there. Dear Will, after spending the week with you I wasn't looking forward to you going back to work. Although, with some of the grumpy days the kids had this week I'm sure you were ok with it. I am pretty happy that I get to spend the next week with you home even if all we do is clean. Dear Self, I have been in a funk all week. At least it happened at the end of our trip and not during. Where has my holiday spirit gone?!

Friday Letters

Dear Children, you seem to be so well behaved when it counts. That makes me happy. You make up for it the rest of the time. Dear Dad, the kids and I drove down and made it just in time to surprise you at a party to celebrate your retirement. We love you! Dear Sissy's, it was fun spending the weekend with you swimming and playing. We should do it more often. Dear Road Trip, we did it the smart way and drove 3hrs and the remaining 12hrs the next day. I did prepare ahead of time, but the kids were all just perfect both ways. It was a modern day miracle I tell ya. Dear J+B, thanks so much for letting us stay at your house with you. We had a great time, I miss you guys. You are seriously a pro at doing my girls hair. And there's nothing like talking til 6am. Haha. The kids had so much fun swimming at the lake, rollerblading, and running around crazy! You were very patient. Dear Brother, I am so excited to see you get married tomorrow! Can't wait. Dear Will, I missed you last weekend when we had to leave town without you. Luckily we got to spend the entire week together. And many hours squished next to you in the car. Good thing we like each other. Dear Self, I am so blessed. And I love my family, I love being with them. getting to make memories with them makes me happy. If I make it through the week without a headache it will be a miracle.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, you were stuck at home all week long. Good thing you can entertain yourselves. Dear House, all I want is for you to be clean and organized. That's all. Oh, and to stay that way. Dear Headache, I suffered with you for four days straight. One day was particularly bad. The kind where you can't leave your bed and you just hope you make it til tomorrow. It wasn't fun. Dear packing, there were delays due to the headaches. And then leaving day was moved up by two days. And THEN the kids wouldn't do their chores. So it was a really long day. Dear Laundry, trying to get the laundry done long enough to pack for a week for nine people is quite the task. You think you can imagine laundry for 9, but believe me, unless you do laundry for 9 you can't. I swear someday I will have a laundry room and I will be victorious over the laundry. Good thing I don't hate doing laundry. Dear Datenight, we went to an 80's rock concert in town. It was funny. And fun. And then Will took me for a drive and we sat by the pond together and listened to the wind through the trees, the cow frogs croakmooing, and the fish jumping in the water. That was my favorite part :) On friday the 13th with a full moon. Dear Will, it meant so much to me that ever day you came home and I was suffering with a headache you just took care of me and everyone else. I'm not looking forward to spending the weekend apart. Dear Self, any day without a headache is a good one.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, this week flew by. It's been quiet around here. Dear Hailey, you spent four days at girls camp. I had no idea how much noise one 13yr old girl creates. It's been very quiet with you gone. I am glad you had fun even though you were home sick. Dear Kade, after telling your sis you wouldn't miss her at all, she had only been gone a matter of hours before you were bored and admitted that she found things for you two to do. Good thing you had Scout Day camp one day this week. Dear Little Girls, I planned to do fun things with you this week, but you mostly entertained yourselves. You been so good. Dear Headache, you took out an entire day. The day I had plans for the girls. Instead I spent the day in bed trying to survive. I was not happy about this. Dear Allergies, I'm not sure what is in the air, but I had me one doozy of an allergy attack. It sure is miserable. Dear Family, I'm glad I got to come and spend time there. It was really nice for me. It makes me miss you. Dear Dad, I hope you have a great Father's Day. I am one of the lucky ones to get to have you as my Dad. I Love You!!! Dear Will, I can't fully express my gratitude to you for stepping in and being such a wonderful Father figure to my children. For helping me raise them, for loving them, for letting them love you, for all the countless things you do for them. You are such a wonderful Father to your children. Thank You for sharing that with mine too. I hope you know how much this means to us. Dear Self, sometimes life is so hard. Sometimes life being hard makes us so much more grateful for the blessings. I'm thinking that I will never be done learning patience in this life. Even though I get a steady stream of trials, it gives me the opportunity to have a steady stream of faith if I chose to. Faith is better than fear.

Friday Letters

Dear Children, I think you are all pretty much loving summer so far. No one waking you up or making you go to bed early. And running wild and free..or playing all you want to. Dear Family, it seems like it has been so long since I've come to visit. You love me more that way I think. It is just what I was needing, to spend some time with you. Dear Cousins, well, my kids cousins. My nieces and nephews. You guys are having a blast together. You missed each other. I love how much fun you have together and how much you love each other. I admit it makes my heart happy when I have a car full of my family. Good thing I drive a beast so I can cram so many of you in:) Dear Food, I have been trying to eat as much good food as I can while I am here. That means one meal a day mostly Ha. I miss all of my favorite places to eat with my favorite people. Dear Swimming, I'd say when there are this many kids around, a pool is a life saver. An every day kind of thing. They have to be drained of all crazy energy so they will just be a normal level of crazy. And this white girl could use some sun. Dear Ma+Pa, I missed you. Nothing like going to a movie with the old folks in the middle of the night. You guys don't act very old. Dear Becca, I didn't get to hear how your birthday went! I hope you are having the best Birthday. Another teenager in the house. Happy Birthday Pretty Girl! Dear Will, I enjoyed our time at the temple this week. I hope you are enjoying your weekend. Dear Self, I am so grateful that I know where to find peace. I am so grateful I have learned how, the whole process of getting myself there. It isn't easy. And just when you think you have made it, you realize you haven't. And you start all over again.